


Above, Below, and All Around Us

by rocketgills



Series: You Climbed the Mountain, You're at the Top, Now What? [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selectively Mute Frisk, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketgills/pseuds/rocketgills
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes things are genuine mistakes. Sometimes there’s that moral grey area.</p><p>An accident happens and causes Frisk, Sans, and Papyrus to have a long talk about children who have been alone for too long. Alternate title: Frisk and Chara try to heal.</p><p>M rating for violence and psychological topics in future chapters.</p><p>(IN PROCESS OF A REWRITE FOR THE LATER CHAPTERS ) (There won't be any plot changes, just changes to the way it's written)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Run Away, Kid

 

I took control of Frisk's body. At their request, of course.

We made it out of the underground, only for them to make the stupidest decision I’ve ever had the honor of witnessing and running straight back to their human parents.

And now we were running back.

This wasn’t the ending we wanted. This wasn’t it. How could it be when everyone we loved were still trapped under the mountain with no safe way out?

How could we when Asriel- when Flowey-   
  
I said we should RESET.

Frisk agreed, still not comprehending what had happened.

Well. I wouldn’t be the one to tell them they’d attempted to murder their family out of self defense.

So we went back. We complimented cute baby frogs. We met Toriel.

(And I get angrier and angrier everytime I see mom because-- lady you don’t get to almost kill Frisk out of some misguided savior complex and then blame children’s deaths on dad! Mom! We talk about our feelings not accidentally increase our LV!!!)

We made it to Snowdin.

Sans looked relieved to see Frisk. He must’ve kept some really great notes in that lunchbox of his. Frisk almost jumped his bones to hug him but in an impressive show of will, they held back and played along for the sake of the timeline.

I was actually really surprised when he called before we reset. Sans doesn’t call people. He’s more of a crappy texter. And professional troll.

Heh. What a piece of shit. Love that guy to  _ pieces _ .

Snowdin was just as peaceful as we remembered. I was worried about Frisk but it was nice to be back.

All they could see was white. White snow above and below them. White snow beyond stretching up to blend with Papyrus as the wind whipped it in furious circles.

Their breathing was ragged and they were beginning to zone out. They could feel their soul just one more unexpectedly gentle hit from shattering. Their ears were ringing and it was all they could do to stay standing.   
  
They knew Papyrus wasn’t attacking them at full force, that his attacks were slower than he would use in a real fight, that he was very careful with what he allowed himself to hit Frisk with. That he was trying to see who you were, because they were a human and humans are scary and he was right to approach them with caution.

Papyrus is not naive, merely optimistic.

Sometimes to a fault.

His next attack was coming.

Frisk couldn’t move their legs to get out of the way.

Papyrus stopped.

Frisk almost sobbed in relief as the blue glow around them ebbed away, taking some of the strain from their body.

The tall skeleton walked gently closer and was speaking but the ringing in their ears just wouldn’t stop. He opened his arms. Sparing them, apparently.

They took a fraction of a step forward before stopping, scared to approach, unable to believe they were really being spared. That people were kind. Toriel didn’t stop and she had let them call her ‘Mom’. Ha. What a hypocrite, worse than poor Asgore, even. If she didn’t stop after tucking them in and keeping them safe then why would this tall, funny skeleton they barely knew stop before they were dead?

Papyrus kneeled down to Frisk’s level, arms still open.

This was familiar to them. Why?

I felt myself being pressed to the back of their mind.

They were reaching their hands up, slowly. Papyrus was speaking, his expression looked worried. I could only guess what type of expression was on Frisk’s face. I was worried. I couldn’t feel anything from them. What’s wrong with them?

They moved all at once and before I knew it their hands were covered in dust.

I was speechless. Frisk was letting out this terrifying keening, half scream, part wailing noise, and I could feel them again. Their body hurt, they were shaking hard enough to injure themselves and I didn’t think they’d realized what they’d just done yet.

I couldn’t tell them.

I let them sit in the snow until they’d at least achieved a frankly terrifying, numb sort of state and then I sort of, nudged their brain to get their attention.

“C-c-chara?” They whispered towards the ground.

_ Get up. Get up and move. _ __  
__  
“Cha-a….chara...chara?” 

They were completely gone, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t take over their body like this, I couldn’t be certain they wouldn’t just disappear once they had the chance to hand over control.

My attention had been drawn to the flash of red just ahead of them, which made Frisk look slightly ahead. Their breathing sped up.

Oh no.

They let out the loudest noise I had ever heard them make. And I never wanted to hear it again. But they kept making it as they began to sob and tug painfully at their hair.

I needed help, they needed help now. But…

Snow crunched lightly from behind a tree and I saw a flash of blue through Frisks tears.

That’s not help! That’s the opposite of help!

Frisk saw him too and paused for a long silent moment.

I could hear their heart beating at a surprisingly sedate pace, and their hands relax against their head. Their breathing was ragged and their tears didn’t stop but they had slowed.    
  
_ Ok? Frisk good...good, now just try to take deep breaths and… _

_ Oh, no, nonono  _ __  
__  
With some kind of freakish speed they began to hurt themselves in any way they possibly could. Digging their nails into their arms. Grabbing whatever cracked pieces of ice they could gather in front of them and digging it into themselves. 

It continued.

I tried to take control of them but I couldn’t, they were too determined. With a capital d.

I managed their eyes and mouth which at least stopped the  _ biting _ , but that didn’t stop the rest. I looked to Sans and the expression he had on his face. Well I couldn’t grace it with a decent description but it was like someone had killed his brother and--   
  
Welp.   
  
“ _ Sans!! Help me!” _

I don’t know what I was expecting but I did not expect them to kneel in his brother’s dust and physically and magically restrain Frisk.

“fuck fuckfuck what the actual fuck why--”

“I don’t know what happened I don’t know one second Papyrus was sparing Frisk and then suddenly Frisk just--they just--”

Sans entire body froze up as they looked at Frisk’s eyes.

“frisk...you…..chara? What….?”   
  
I could see his brain working a million miles a minute. Well. Not really his brain, he didn’t have one, but this wasn’t really the time to punish him.

When he finally spoke it was in such a broken voice and his smile had been wiped off his face.

“r-reload? please reload? i know you saved i saw you do it. chara please please...help frisk, save pappy, please”   
  
My breath sped up a little.   
  
“I...can’t...not without Frisk. I’m not enough on my own…”   
  
The blue magic ebbed away and Frisk’s body floated gently to the ground. They weren’t trying to move anymore. That worried me.

_ Frisk? _

I could hear a low never ending mantra of denials and self hate from them when suddenly the world faded to black.   
  
I screamed us awake on a bed of golden flowers.

I almost laughed at the look on Asriel’s face, and began to mock him aloud. Frisk had let me keep control of our mouth and see through their eyes. but Frisk moved past him without waiting for him to speak and went through the Ruins in a sort of strange haze. Walking ahead and gripping Toriel’s skirts.

Dragging her down into the basement towards the exit to the rest of the undergrounds and pointing calmly at the door. A clear request for the former queen to let them out. She looked startled, but the lack of any connection allowed her to merely struggle with herself for long moments before unlocking the door for the strange human child that appeared before her without warning.

“Wait!!”   
  
Frisk merely slowed their steps as Asri-- I mean as Flowey cried out.

“This isn’t how this goes! What are you doing you idiot!”   
  
“Asriel…”

I called out to my brother. I wasn’t sure what I was doing anymore.   
  
“C-chara? Is that you?”

“Bro? Help a sibling out yeah?”

“Huh? What…?”

“You got this, you vine fetishist.”

The look of absolute outrage and embarrassment on his small cute face was satisfying. He nodded before disappearing. 

Good, one more ally for my new ‘SAVE-Frisk’ crusade.

We stepped onto the snow and Frisk shivered. Good? I guess? That is at least the first almost emotion they’ve shown since resetting.

We trudged through the snow at a more sedate pace.

Sans was smart enough to appear from the front rather than attempt to mess with Frisk this time and merely stood in front of the broken gate to Snowdin.

He looked shaken. Could he have remembered?   
  
Through a RESET?

Impossible...right? But what else could explain him standing there looking like we’d died in front of him.

(Frisk didn’t but almost did and Papyrus did and wasn’t that even worse.)

He walked carefully towards Frisk. You saw his small, sharp intake of breath when he saw the red in their eyes that meant you were there as well.

Frisk took one step back. The second signifier that they were still alive in here.

“frisk?” Ah breaking script right off the bat now, Sans? “kiddo?”

The world spun dangerously through their eyes in a moment of pure wild panic before they sprinted past Sans and towards Snowdin.

“frisk!” 

Wow, I haven’t heard Sans shout since...well, I haven’t.

I couldn’t turn around to see if Sans was actually  _ running  _ but I hoped he caught up soon and caught this maniac because I was not in control.

He was moving after us as quickly as he could and didn’t lose Frisk for even a second and I could hear him shouting variations of “wait” and “stop” and “frisk” and a very noteable and surprising “fuck these shitty shortcuts” that would’ve made me giggle if not for the feelings coming at me from Frisk.

Anger, disgust, loathing, murderous urges, and hate.

All directed at themself.

_ Damn it, Frisk. Snap out of it! _ __  
__  
They sprinted past the skeleton brothers’ home and straight towards waterfall.   
  
Only to run straight into Papyrus.

_ Frisk! _   
  
They tried to go faster and run away all at once and fell flat on their stupid face.

_ Geez, I hope that woke you up a little bit. _

They climbed to their feet, still with the blank stare and lack of expression.

“A...HUMAN? UH...WELL THIS IS RATHER UNEXPECTED? HOW DID YOU GET PAST MY PUZZLES AND--SANS!”

The last was more of an acknowledgement than a question. Sans had appeared from literally nowhere between Frisk and Papyrus, tripping as he exited the shortcut. He was sweating and looked completely out of his element.

“finally,” he wheezed out, “buddy, i know i’m hard to deal with but a surprise race was not in the cards today.”

“SANS?”

“pap, try to remember...it’s frisk. well it’s frisk with a passenger but you love that kid to pieces.”

Papyrus’ eye sockets narrowed in throught, before he smiled as Sans watched Frisk closely.   
  
“WELL I CAN’T REMEMBER ALL THAT? BUT IF WE WERE SUCH GREAT FRIENDS I’M SURE WE’LL BE EVEN GREATER FRIENDS NOW!”

Sans continued to watch Frisk and they became more and more agitated.

I could tell he was taking in their rapid breathing, their well concealed panic as they stood still. Their refusal to speak or even sign.

I’m sure Frisk looked absolutely pathetic and in need of a hug which is why I was unsurprised when he opened his arms a bit in invitation.

“c’mere pal…”

Frisk’s entire body shook violently before they fell to the ground and began to throw up.

_ Ew… _

Sans was on them in an instant muttering something probably kind and rubbing Frisk’s back while Papyrus held their hair away from their face, surprisingly silent.

They took control of our voice and whispered brokenly, “I didn’t mean to kill you? I thought...I thought you were someone else I thought - I thought - they tried to - I didn’t- who-”

“hey hey hey it’s ok, not your fault, not your fault at all”   
  
Papyrus had a rather strange look on his face as Frisk attempted to speak. You always thought it was strange how these skeletons recalled timelines. Sans moreso than Papyrus, but Papyrus seemed to know little things. It was interesting. I wanted to ask Sans about it once Frisk was better.

We had plenty of time to be happy and suffer anyway. We were free. Finally.

“HUMAN, YOU ARE SICK! DON’T WORRY! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL TAKE YOU HOME AND NURSE YOU RIGHT BACK TO HEALTH! AND THEN WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS, JUST LIKE SANS SAID!”

“don’t worry buddy, it’s all over. We know how to get out and we can tell pap about everything and you’ll be okay.”

Frisk vomited again at that remark.

I was infinitely glad they’d took control of the whole throat and mouth situation before they started decorating the snow with their breakfast.

A few minutes later they stopped feeling vomit-y sick and they started feeling a different kind of sick. The numb, never want to move again, checking out from this reality, kind of sick and practically shoved control into my hands as they curled up in the back of our mind.

_ Yeah, take a nap. Naps are good for this kind of thing right? _

Their only response was a rather pathetic growl towards me as they attempted to pull themselves together.

I pulled myself to my feet with the help of Papyrus.   
  
“HUMAN?”

I grinned widely and hugged Papyrus. I was embarrassingly ecstatic to see him alive.

“kid?” I heard the change in tone at the pet name and toned down my smile so it was less completely manic.

“Heya Sans.”

I’d hug Sans but I already used my single hug for the day. It’s ok, Papyrus deserved every single hug I had in me. Sans would have to deal.

I looked down at the ground.

_ Chara no... _

“What a sickening sight.”

_ Heh. Chara yes. Go to sleep, loser. It’ll all be better when you get up little sibling. _

“OH NO. NO JOKES FROM THE HUMAN PLEASE!”

“Papyrus you’re smiling.”

“I KNOW! I HATE IT!!”

“.....”

“Sans, you’re...huh, well you’re not. I mean you always are but you’re not actually smiling. Huh.”

I had a terrible tendency to ramble.

“chara what happened?”

“Uh, can we go back to your house first? I feel like I could pass out any second.”

I warned them a bit late. Frisks body was already rushing towards the ground at an alarming rate before i felt myself being lifted into the air and being wrapped in soft fabric.

When I opened my eyes again I was on a familiar green sofa. The TV was off and I could hear Papyrus in the kitchen.

I curled up under the thoughtfully placed blanket and carefully opened Frisk’s eyes..

 

I screamed.

Sans was sitting barely 3 inches from my face, staring.

“eh, that’s not the most insulting greeting i’ve gotten.”

_ Creepy! _ __  
__  
I was effectively talking to myself. Frisk had taken my advice and taken a nap.

“Sans! What the actual fuck!”

“HUMAN! SUCH LANGUAGE IS NOT BEFITTING FOR THE BESTIE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”   
  
“Sorry! Your brother! Scared the shit! Out of me!”

“OH! HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES. THE OTHER NIGHT I WOKE UP AND HE WAS JUST SITTING IN MY DESK CHAIR. STARING. WE ALL HAVE OUR ECCENTRICITIES HUMAN. MY BROTHER JUST HAPPENS TO BE EXTREMELY CREEPY.”

“hey”

I’m sure he was attempting to sound offended but it fell completely flat.

 

“don’t get  _ sick _ of me yet we’re about to have a nice long chat.”

I sat up and the blanket fell off of my torso. I was wearing his blue jacket and had been cuddling Pap’s cape. How embarrassing.

I had a vague recollection of Pap putting it on me as I passed out but the jacket…

Hm. 

Curious, curiouser, yet curiouser.

I let the jacket fall down my arms and fluff around my neck and face building myself a cocoon.

The fact that the jacket was possibly able to house myself and Sans filled me with determination. Determination for what, I didn’t know.

But I was damn comfortable.

“what happened? why the RESET?”

I sighed a little making sure Frisk was still sleeping.

“Frisk got out. Flowey killed Asgore and took the souls and then Frisk fought Flowey alone and won them back. Then they used them to leave.”

Sans sat there, the pinpricks of light in his eyes getting smaller.

“They were...stupid. The idiot went right back to those  _ humans. _ ”

The skeleton stilled at the absolute rage in my voice.

“One night poor Frisk was pushed too far and did the only thing they could. They defended themself.”

I could feel myself smiling. I could tell I was scaring Sans. I could tell he could feel every single drop of my LOVE in that moment.

I wanted to calm down but I couldn’t.

“Those...those people pushed  _ Frisk _ too far. Frisk! Frisk who sat through Flowey’s abuse with a smile and still loves him! Frisk loves us even though we’ve all killed them!! Yet those... _ humans,”  _ I said that word like a swear, “Managed to push them  _ too far!” _

I was breathing raggedly through my tirade, “Those people...deserved to die. I wish I could reload so I could  _ kill _ them slowly and painfully. So I could let them remember each and every death. So Frisk could kill them again. I want them to suffer for what they did, they need to --”   
  
I couldn’t begin to describe the look on San’s face as he lightened me with blue magic and floated me over to Papyrus who wrapped me in the type of tight, suffocating hug I’d never admit I liked.

“you’re crying”

Oh. I hadn’t noticed. I didn’t think I had it in me anymore.

“IT’S ALL OKAY NOW! WE’RE HERE!”

I hugged Papyrus back.

I guess I had two hugs in me that day.

Papyrus tucked me into his bed like a child once I’d stopped to waterworks and told me to take one of those ‘ten hour naps Sans takes’.

I wonder how he’d feel knowing Frisk and I are both older than him thanks to the resets.

He probably wouldn’t treat us any differently.

My eyes began to drift closed and I hoped Frisk wouldn’t wake up until morning.


	2. The Seventh Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara explains some stuff. Kind of. They're not great at telling stories. And they're very biased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mental and physical abuse.
> 
> There's no skirting around any of the topics in the fic warnings...they're all blatantly talked about.
> 
> Take Frisk's habits of tapping and hitting as you will. I'm trying not to give anything a name or designation so it can be a little more relatable but I do have a very specific something in mind...

Every morning of the spring before they fell down, Frisk would wake up to birds chirping and a light breeze flowing through their window.

They would get themselves ready for school. Sometimes there would be breakfast. Then they would walk to school. They’d struggle through their classes. Sometimes they’d be picked on. Then they’d go home. Sometimes they’d go straight to their room.

Those were the okay days.

Frisk woke up to the sound of birds chirping. They shifted a little on the bed before cracking their eyes open.

A light breeze flowed through their open window.

It was still a bit cool outside. It was nice. Frisk hated hot weather.

They shifted to get off of the bed.

Their door was open.

Their mother walked by the door, “Why aren’t you up yet? You didn’t clean up last night. You can’t be this  _ lazy  _ your whole life you know!”

Always criticizing them, never seeing any of the good things they did. They didn’t clean up but they did all their homework and finished a project. They took out the garbage and put a new picture on the fridge. They practiced playing guitar.

They felt the stirrings of a panic attack deep in their stomach.

 

Their throat felt hot.

 

Their door was open.

“Hurry and get ready for school! You’re holding back my schedule for the day.”

Frisk felt a distant rage boil in their gut, far underneath all the panic and sadness. No one ever dropped them to school or helped them with anything. They weren’t holding anything back. All they got was money that wasn’t enough for lunch. Just enough to stave off the hunger for an hour so they were dizzy and tired when they got home, and a couple words of acknowledgement.

 

“Okay.”

 

Their door was open.

 

Their right arm began to tremble as they heard their mother in the other room getting ready for work.

 

They climbed off the bed and changed out of their pajamas.

They heard their mother step into the hallway and began to walk down the hallway.

Their door was still open.

She glanced in and looked at Frisk’s outfit for the day.

“Can’t you put on something more suitable? You’re getting older, baby. You need to learn to dress yourself better.”

They were wearing loose pants with floral print and a t-shirt. They changed into shorts and a sweater.

They didn’t understand.

“I don’t like that hair style, let’s go get a haircut next weekend okay? I left your lunch money on the table. It’s enough right?”

Their hair was cut neatly around their face. They didn’t understand.

The lunch money wasn’t enough but they would get screamed at if they said anything. Told to eat less. To be better. At what, they weren’t sure.

They wanted to close the door, but it was still open.

School passed by in a haze. People called them the wrong name, the wrong pronouns, they didn’t quite manage to dodge the punches in the lot after school. They weren’t sure if they were slow on purpose or if it was because of the low burn panic they’d been feeling.

They blinked and suddenly they were home in their room.

They couldn’t breath and the wooden floor was moving under their feet. Everything felt too big and too bright and too loud and  _ the door was open _ .

They pulled the curtain closed.

Sunlight flooded into the room from the hallway through the bedroom door they weren’t allowed to close.

They closed their closet door.

 

They were still wearing their backpack.

 

 

 

They tossed it to the floor.

 

 

 

They stood in front of the door for a long moment, hearing their parents tell them never to close their door because why would they need privacy when their parents were paying the bills. Why would they need privacy from people who have never listened to them.

 

 

Their vision spun and it was too far too close their hand reached out and they shut the door and it clicked shut and it was closed

 

no one was home

 

it was small

 

it was quiet

 

it was dark

 

This was their safe cave, their time to breath. They had time. Exactly 30 minutes until someone appeared and they had to open their door before they were found out and hit for disobeying.

 

They couldn’t breath.

 

There was no space for oxygen.

 

They laid on the carpet by their bed and gasped for air as they ran their hands up and down slowly through the soft material.

 

Eventually their breathing calmed and the shaking and tears started.

Twenty

 They crawled into bed and rolled themselves over and over through it until they were wrapped and trapped and their eyes were covered and nothing existed but the feel of their body weighing upon the mattress.

Ten.

Their eyes...slipped shut.

 

 

 

Time moved forward and their door banged open.

There was screaming that they couldn’t understand. They were lazy, they couldn’t even wash the dishes but had time to nap, their arm hurt from being dragged down the stairs, their face and head hurt from the slap they got for being rude in response to the scolding.

They were told to get out. Go somewhere else for the night.

 

Where?

They had no friends, knew none of their family.

 

They wandered for hours and hours.

They didn’t want to be lost yet they were.

They didn’t want to be outside but there was no home in that home.

 

Their head hurt.

 

They wanted to disappear.

 

They climbed and climbed and climbed.

 

They found a hole

 

They--   
  
Wake up in a dark place.

I am shaken.

 

Frisk is muttering under their breath.

 

I look around with their eyes as they adjust.

I look down.

There is a knife in their hands.

 

We both scream.

 

_ The fuck Frisk!! _ __   
__   
“........”

 

“i was wondering when you’d wake up--”

 

Frisk screams again.

 

I’m surprised Papyrus hasn’t come running.

 

“like i said. was wondering. you wandered outside paps room but you looked like you were sleepwalking so i was just making sure you didn’t do anything crazy like go outside, or start picking up weapons. y’know. the usual.”

“What happened?” Frisk signed sluggishly.

“dunno. maybe….chara knows?”

Poor guy was still hesitant to talk to me.

 

_ You had a nightmare. Kind of. A memory? _

 

Frisk related what I said to Sans, “memories make you grab knives like you’re gonna go stab happy? huh. that’s interesting.”

Worst part is I’m pretty sure he thinks it’s interesting. Something new, I guess. I know the feeling.

Frisk shrugged.

“welp. it’s late. i have plenty of pointed questions for you but kids like you should be in dream land right now.”

Frisk shrugged again, following after Sans as he steps away. They blink and suddenly they’re in his room. They tilt their head in question.

“cmon kiddo, hop in”

San’s bed is actually made and there are pillows. 

Actually the whole room seems more….tidy than usual.

Scandalous!

“....what’s with that look.”

Frisk squints at him and carefully sits at the edge of the bed before suddenly gravity shifts them so that they are laying down. They accept their fate and turn their body on the bed.

They aren’t used to comfort after nightmares so they lay there stiffly as Sans pulls the blanket over them before climbing in himself.

 

They are beginning to detach themselves from the world as they stare blankly at the ceiling.

I think thats a terrible idea so I move their hand against the smooth sheets to keep them grounded.

 

Sans is too lazy to physically pull us closer so instead we are pulled into the folds of his hoodie by magic.

Smooth bones tentatively touch Frisk’s hair and they shiver but lean into the touch. Sans begins to gently run his hands through their hair.

The only warning is a slight intake of breath before Frisk starts crying and telling Sans what they dreamed about.

“...They did it again when I got out? Except they- they--” Frisk froze up and shoved control of their body at me.

“What a mess, huh?”

Interesting, Sans stopped stroking Frisk’s hair as soon as we switched. Very interesting. Very, very interesting.

“you’re tellin’ me. i guess something similar happened right before they reset and came back here?”

I wrap Frisk’s arms around San’s middle and shove their face into his chest. I nod.

“Same, but worse.”

So stroking my hair is out, but he is hugging me back. Interesting.

“Let me tell you a story, trashbag”

I slide up. Frisk’s clothes feel strange against their skin. I feel strange in their skin.

Sans releases me so we can sit up. I look him in the eyes and I see him freeze up a little. Still not over all the attempted murders from kids with red eyes I guess.

I reach into the pocket of the sweater Frisk is wearing for a rubber band and use it to tie our hair back.

Better.

I feel more like myself.

I tell Sans about Frisk.

 

 

Long ago, there was a child. They are a whole eight years old. Their name is Frisk.

 

They stick one bare foot onto carpeted floor. And then another. They take quiet steps.

 

They’ve done it, and they’re really really proud! They got up and left their room all on their own! They can’t wait to surprise mom. As they’re about to tackle the stairs their mother’s voice drifts up from the kitchen. 

 

They think they can smell cake.

 

“There’s something wrong with that child..They don’t talk and  _ everything  _ is an issue.”

 

A long pause. Their hands clench around the railing of the balcony. 

Their mother’s crystal like laugh floats up. At least Frisk thought it was pretty.

 

They feel like something is in their throat, and resist the urge to hit their head against the wood beneath their hands.

 

“Yeah there is...no way I can apologize for last time.”

 

Last time.

 

Their mother’s old friend came over and Frisk was introduced. Their friend tried to hug Frisk without warning and they resisted. Being held felt disgusting. Arms trapping them and someone they didn’t know didn’t understand didn’t recognize was touching them for seconds and seconds and seconds and wouldn’t let go.

 

They wriggled their way out and started crying on the spot and refused to calm down until their father made them warm honey and milk.

 

They sat alone in their room and thought ‘Dad’s so nice.”

 

Ha. Their dad didn’t bring up the incident or even ask why it bothered them.

 

Their mom screamed at them for embarrassing her until they started crying and then yelled at them for crying.

 

Frisk didn’t mention that they’d gotten over their fear of leaving their room on their own.

 

A month later they left and followed their dad outside because they were scared their mom would be mad at them for not cleaning up their room the night before. He was surprised but looked happy and let Frisk go to work with him.

 

Unfortunately he forgot to tell their mother.

 

“So you finally leave your room and think I don’t deserve to know where you go?!”

 

Frisk opened and closed their mouth silently while shaking their head. Of course their mom should know where they went! They wanted her with them!

 

“Ha. Still to stupid to speak when I ask you questions?”

 

“Cara!”

 

Apparently that was the limit for their dad.

 

Frisk gripped their father’s hand tighter. They instinctually knew that even with his weak defense they were still in trouble. They started shaking their other hand and hitting it against their leg to calm themselves.

 

Their mother grips their wrist just tightly enough for it to be painful before dragging them out of their fathers loose grip. He is not expecting it and Frisk is quickly being dragged upstairs.

 

“If you like being outside so much then stay in here! Learn to stop being so selfish!”

 

As an eight year old Frisk was confused and didn’t understand what they’d done wrong. They still don’t.

 

They aren’t let out for two days.

 

Every morning their dad would ask, “How’re you? Do you need anything?”

 

The second morning, though they rarely speak, they say, “No.” Why? Because what they want most is a friend and they know they wouldn’t get one. They wanted help but they know their dad was useless, they’d lost their belief in him then.

 

And they realized they’d never had any in their mom.

 

 

 

At eight it began.

 

 

 

 

At nine they realize their mother thinks everything they do is right, and since she doesn’t like anything Frisk does, Frisk is always wrong.

At ten their mother slaps Frisk for washing the dishes but not all the dishes and “talking back” and they give up on having opinions.

At eleven they have their first anxiety induced panic attack and have to go home from school. Their mother tells them it’s no use dealing with them and the four walls of their room become their only way of life.

At eleven and a half they give in to the urge to hit themselves against things repeatedly because it calms them more than moving in circles or playing with a necklace their teacher gave them or patting their hands on their legs or anything else ever. So that becomes a thing.

At eleven and a half their mother starts hitting them every time they hear them hitting themself or doing anything “weird” really.

At twelve their mother casually tries to starve them and their father does nothing until they give up and they are out of options.

They throw their entire weight against their bedroom’s door and cry and scream to be let out to just use the bathroom. They could get water in there.

They eventually slump onto the floor, tired and strangely wanting to sleep.

 

 

“Please...please...please please please….please…” they whispered over and over, “someone...help...please…”

 

 

 

 

But nobody came.

 

Eventually their dad brings them soup and asks if they’re okay and if there is anything he can do but Frisk knows. They’ve always known.

There is no such thing as mercy or kindness or freedom.

Living is painful and terrible and a thing to fear.

 

They don’t answer him after that.

 

At the age of twelve they give up.

 

At some point…

They climb Mount Ebott.

 

When they get out they learn kindness and think that maybe they can teach it to their family as well.

They go back and there is no concern or mercy or love, just anger at them for leaving and punishment.

And there is a feeling deep inside them. The feeling that they don’t have to do this. There is no reason for them to be there. No reason to put up with people who only love them with hate.

 

It’s me.

 

I tell them to run.

 

They go quiet and all I can hear is “Fight....I have to fight back...I need...to...fight fight fight…” as they hide behind the door, rhythmically hitting their hand against the wall until it goes numb.

Their mother bursts in screaming about the noise, hand raised in anger.

Frisk leaps and attacks faster than I’ve ever seen them dodge a magical attack.

They push her out and into her father’s path.

They still have that knife and casually slip it out of the waist of their pants. Their parents are stumbling towards the banister on the balcony. Frisk pauses before running. They are silent almost as if they are dead, but I know they are just psychologically not fucking present.

They casually take a step forward and with more strength than I even knew they had they push their parents off of it.

I hear glass shatter but I am not in control of our body.

 

They throw a dead eyed glance at the knife in their hands and as though deciding they don’t need it they toss it off the balcony after their parents.

 

I think, hey what are the chances it’ll kill them and then I hear a scream.

I felt like I was watching a highway pile up.

 

We stroll outside and back towards Mt. Ebott, looming far above us.

 

We walk         and walk            and        walk and........ eventually Frisk allows their feet to meet air and

 

we

 

fall

 

down.

  
  
  


The lights in Sans’ eyes are gone and it’s like looking into a stormy night sky.

 

 

 

He’s angry.

I...well let’s just say I really do have a huge problem with anger. I start shaking uncontrollably. I’ve seen him furious and in a rage before but this...this is cold anger.

The type of anger that let’s people hurt each other.

Before I realize what I’m doing my legs are carrying me as fast as possible out of the room.

When I next blink it’s dark and I’m caged in between a hard wall, a soft blanket, and a tall skeleton.

A skeleton who is speaking.

“--AN, ARE--are you...OK?”

I nod and too out of it to speak I go with my body’s impulse and sign, ‘Nightmare...can I stay here?’

Papyrus doesn’t look like he quite buys it but he lets me stay with reassurances that he’ll be right next to me if I need anything.

Something in me unclenches and I feel me nails remove themselves from inside of the skin of my arm. Whoops.

I sign a thank you and move to release myself from the fetal position I’m in before I lay down.

 

A loud fart fills the room.

 

I’ve landed on a whoopie cushion.

 

Papyrus groans.

I roll over towards Papyrus to remove it only for another to sound.

I scowl, violently ripping the second one from under me and turn my head, checking for more.

Only to come face to face with Sans the Skeleton.

 

I scream.

 

Papyrus screams.

 

“BROTHER HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRANK PEOPLE ACROSS TIME AND SPACE,” um….? “OR JUST...APPEAR. IN MY BED. WHEN I. AM SUPPOSED. TO BE SLEEPING!!!!!” um…..?????? “NOW YOU’RE DOING BOTH!!! WHY MUST YOU DO THIS SANS!!!”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“..wow what weirdo put all those whoopie cushions there. someone should stop ‘em before this goes any further”

 

“...”

 

Sans is gone. Just like that.

 

Yet somehow I feel much calmer. He’s not mad at me it’s ok. It’s ok. It’s alright.

_ Sans...mad…? _

_ Go to sleep Frisk. _

 

Their tired consciousness curls up near the front. I knew sleep would help. I position their body carefully next to Papyrus, ensuring maximum comfort and cuddle potential before curling up in the back of their brain so they can rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to end this chapter happily?


	3. Don't Ignore it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that angry, self-hateful feeling after being taken care of.
> 
> papyrus being cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget.

Frisk awakened slowly as though they were being pulled out of quicksand.

The blankets were pulled up to their chin and they slowly dragged a hand absentmindedly across the sheets.

The sound of breakfast being made dragged an old memory to the front of their mind but it is quickly washed away by other thoughts. They thought Papyrus is oddly quiet while cooking.

They rolled over. For some strange reason they were expecting a whoopie cushion to sound but that would be ridiculous.

They were fully intent on crawling deeper into Papyrus’ blankets but suddenly they’re lifted from the blankets.

They weren’t even surprised.

“HUMAN!!! IT’S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO CONVINCE SANS TO GET UP, I WON’T LET YOU DO THE SAME.”

Frisk doesn’t bother to physically respond and instead wraps their arms securely around Papyrus’ shoulders, giving him a hug. They feel happy when he hugs back and the feeling gives them just enough energy to wiggle in his arms in a clear request to be set down on the ground.

“ _ Do you need help with breakfast?” _ they sign sluggishly

Papyrus glances away from Frisk for a split second before answering, “NO….BUT….YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME WITH SOMETHING ELSE WHILE YOU EAT?”

Frisk is confused but nods their head, always happy to help Papyrus.

“EXCELLENT! TO THE KITCHEN!”

Frisk follows along, curious as to what Papyrus could want from them.

They sit down and there are just eggs...toast...and..tea? No experimental foods?

Frisk delicately scoops some of the eggs onto a fork and lifts them into their mouth.

Tastes Normal.

Suspicious.

They squint in Papyrus’ direction. The skeleton is sweating.

“SO. FRISK.”

They don’t speak. Only nod encouragingly. It’s rare for Papyrus to call them by name and…

Papyrus was never told their name in the first place.

“SO. YOU UH. KILLED ME. WHY?”

Frisk is lightly trembling.

Papyrus hurries carefully around the kitchen table and slowly reaches a mitten clad hand out to rest on Frisk’s back, “NO NO. I’M NOT UH...THIS IS DIFFICULT. I’VE NEVER HAD TO ASK WHY I WAS SUDDENLY RANDOMLY MURDERED BEFORE! IT WAS VERY SURPRISING.”

I consider taking over for less than a second but I decide that no one needs me for this.

Frisk wastes mental energy telling me that they’d rather I explained but I ignore them.

“ _ I….had a flashback? Of...of the humans I used to live with before I met all of you.” _

Papyrus looks shocked and worried for a moment and not at all mad that he recently died. How does he know?

“SOME...SOMEONE WAS TERRIBLE ENOUGH TO YOU THAT YOU HAD A FLASHBACK...FROM A HUG? FROM BEING SPARED?”

Frisk looks down for a moment and they don’t think that anyone was terrible to them. That it was just how things were. But they don’t know how to explain and the look they give Papyrus in answer is confused and pitiful.

 

But the look confirms what Papyrus says.

 

There is a cool breeze on the back of your neck.

Your plate is a few millimeters above the table Papyrus brought out. You are slightly alarmed because you don’t immediately understand that Papyrus’ excellent control over his magic is slipping in his anger.

You see Papyrus clenching his hands and you quietly slip a hand into one of his and your plate falls gently back to the table as you continue eating.

He practically lifts you from your chair giving you a hug and you drop half the food on the floor.

You feel my jealousy at not receiving similar attention and try to hand over control to me but I refuse. I don’t deserve it.

Frisk seems confused, however there is no cause for confusion.

“mornin”

“WOULD IT KILL YOU TO WALK UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS SANS”

“yeah, i might trip.”

“NO I HATE YOU.”

Sans sips a bit of his coffee. When did he make coffee?

“and fall for you”

“YOU ARE TERRIBLE AND I AM GOING TO WORK. GOODBYE HUMAN. DON’T LET SANS BE WEIRD TO YOU.”

You nod, still feeling sleepy and frustratingly unable to finish Papyrus’ carefully made breakfast. The mess had been cleaned up while they weren’t looking. He really was getting better at cooking.

It’s quiet as he made sure he had everything and the door closed with a click and a cheerful goodbye. He was going to want to talk to you later.

Sans is staring. The uneasiness in your gut is not your own.

You hop off the chair and walk a little unsteadily into the living room and claim a corner of the couch. It’s yours now and no one is moving you from it.

You lift your hand to sign to Sans who is strolling out of the kitchen but think twice of it and open your mouth to speak.

You correct your earlier thought. Sans might be moving you from the couch.

Sans is caught off guard by your attempt which yielded no speech but a slight cough.

You try again.

“Sans,” your voice is raspy, “Chara. Still upset?”

Well you did  _ try _ .

Wait. What? Who’s upset now?

“Really upset?”

It looks like Sans can’t decide whether to be happy Frisk spoke or mad that they felt they couldn’t speak for so long that their voice became a fucking mess.

“sup with the kid?”

I can’t see your face but I’m imagining you are squinting very very hard at your skelebro. I can feel you scowling. I’m not upset. Shut up.

Frisk signs, “ _ You are upset Chara you idiot!” _

I’m a little taken aback at the insult. Who the heck are you calling an idiot.

“i uh...don’t really follow.”

“Oh. Sorry. Frisk thinks I’m  _ upset,”  _ I spit the word like poison, “or some bullshit.”

“ _ I’m going to make a swear jar!” _

“Why?”

“ _ Because you’re an idiot!” _

I take a deep breath and hold it so I can take in the childishness of the comeback.

“ _ You’re upset because they were both nice to you after you freaked out and hid in Papyrus’ bed!” _

I roll my eyes, “I did not  _ freak out!” _

“you kinda did. being taken care of is nothing to feel bad over.”

So what if I’m a little mad, why don’t they just leave me alone! I glare at Sans and he takes an involuntary step backwards. He look annoyed at the reaction. I feel disgustingly satisfied.

“ _ Stop messing with him Chara!” _

“I’m not! Gosh Frisk, why are you so...so...mad? You’re mad? Why? You never get mad?”

As soon as it hit me that Frisk was genuinely angry I felt a wave a confusion. Frisk and angry really don’t mix. And they were mad at me. I refused to accept that I freaked out last night, but I definitely would now if they didn’t stop...doing...well. If they didn’t stop.

Frisk signs very clearly and deliberately, “ _ I love you. _ ”

“Um?!”

Sans looks slightly uncomfortable.

“ _ I love you and NO ONE is allowed to hurt you. Not. Even. You. OK?” _

I must look like an idiot standing there and staring at the wall, “Ok?”

“ _ Okay. Admit it.” _

I let out a shaky breath, “Fine! I feel weird because the bone brothers comforted me after I acted all crazy! Happy?”

“ _ Yes. It’s healthy to talk about your feelings Chara.” _

“Fuck feelings I’m taking a nap!”

“ _ Swear jar.” _

I flip them off inside their own brain and curl up in the most comfortable corner and pretend I don’t exist and that no one cares about me. I can almost believe it.

Frisk lets out a sigh.

“chara can nap?”

“ _ Not really _ .”

“huh.”

An oddly uncomfortable silence.   
"so uh...wanna go to grillby's?"

There's still a look in Frisk's eyes that worries Sans as they place two palms facing eachother, just below their cheek in a plea to sleep. 

They don't expect it when Sans looks as stern as they've ever seen him and he speaks. 

"nah. we don't gotta go to grillby's but frankly speaking, im not letting you sleep like this."

Frisk feels irrationally angry at Sans not letting them shut down. Ha! Revenge is fast isn't it, Frisk.

They sign rather sharply, "Okay. Grillby's."

"cool." He doesn't even seem affected by Frisk's rage, which honestly isn't that impressive in my opinion. 

Their anger is cooled a little by Sans stepping out the door like a normal monster. 

They follow, not really caring that they're technically still in their pjs. They shove their hands in their hoodie's pockets in a way reminiscent of Sans. Not the Sans they see before them, but a Sans who is standing in snow and dust, alone and confused with human blood all over his hoodie and crying.

At least it felt the same in their head. Like they were back there, seeing it from the outside for a moment. Chara knew better than to think any of it showed on their face though. 

It’s just another in a long line of things that Frisk hated themselves for. The memory seemed to blend in with the present as they walked out behind Sans, feeling a little light headed, hearing a slight tinge of noise that wasn’t real.

Auditory and visual hallucinations was the description I supplied.

They accept my decision that I’m telling Sans and Papyrus about this later.

Especially since there's no reason for their brain to be so scrambled, we freed ourselves from the void, the loops, and the violence, right?

I thought so.

They trudged through the snow behind Sans, head full of thoughts about what happened, now that they could think. 

They sat down and before they knew it there was a cup in front of them.

They blinked woozily.

"let me know when you wanna talk, kid. doesn't hafta be out loud but, well you look like you need to."

Frisk could see how Sans was an older brother.

Their hand doesn't feel like their own as they see it reach for the glass of juice in front of them.

Dissociation is the word the ghost in the corner of their brain supplies.

Sans looks a little freaked out in the way you can only be when you're worried about someone. But Frisk doesn't notice. They did just go through a long 3 days of trauma if they don't count the months and years before it.

The thing about Frisk is...well when they have no one to take care of or nothing to fix they don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know how to treat themselves or care at all, really.

"I killed Papyrus. Again."

Sans pauses for a moment.

"yeah."

"No static. No void." There is a whispering hissing noise that no one reacts to and they think they’ve imagined it, but I hear it too, "All me."

"...did you...try to do it?"

Frisk sat in their chair swaying back and forth, giving up on the mysterious juice and sitting on their hands.

"Sans...murder is bad"

"well sure but you didn't do it on purpose. and well. you fixed it. this would've been a different talk if you didn't," They see a flash of empty eye sockets and blue and red dripping onto golden floors, "but ya did. my bros here and safe, so..."

"Chara helped. They say mean things but they're really nice. I'm just...bad. No excuse."

Sans is silent though he looks like he wants to shoot down the self deprecation.

"They're good. Papyrus is...he's amazing."

"yeah. my bros the coolest, right?"

They feel a wave of anxiety as they open their mouth.

"You're even more amazing."

Frisk gets to witness blue rising to Sans cheeks as he is utterly embarrassed. All Frisk can think is that wow Sans can be as cute as Papyrus.

In my opinion it's likely that Sans rarely receives compliments, so it is enough to completely throw him off.

Also Frisk just has a high level flirt game.

Grillby comes up to the table with his notepad to take our orders and crackles in San's direction, looking curious but not surprised at an unexpected human just sitting in his restaurant.

Then he does a double take, sparks slight in surprise at Sans' face and calmly walks away which Frisk takes as a "I'll come back later"

Frisk's mouth is slightly open in surprise at Sans' reaction as he fidgets a little in his seat drumming his his fingers on the edge of the table before realizing he was doing so, then shoving both his arms in his pockets and breaking eye contact with Frisk in an attempt to look unfazed. He doesn't look like he knows what to say, and Frisk doesn't know how to follow up in words so they keep drinking their juice and observing Sans.

Frisk is just as creepy as Sans in some ways. I don't think they realize their staring and uncanny ability to pinpoint weaknesses can be unnerving for some people.

Sans looks like he's having a nice long internal scream with himself when, five minutes later, Grillby comes back.

Frisk shakes their head for eating anything and gets more of the mysterious juice.

Sans orders a milkshake and the only reaction Grillby makes at the unusual order is a slowing of the pen in his hand and a glance in his direction as he leaves.

Sans idly kicks his feet and really he's such a kid sometimes, he should be wearing stripes. How old is he, really?

I feel better having watched Frisk wreck Sans. And Frisk feels better having done something nice for someone. They can't be all bad, they think, because Sans has that small small smile on his face that others usually don't see and Frisk did that.

"you're not a bad person y'know. just been put through some shit no one should ever have to."

Frisk pauses and they realize they don't feel bad at being told this by Sans. They can't understand, but they can believe he thinks it, "You too."

"...now feels like a good time for that nap you wanted earlier."

Frisk nods eagerly, feeling like themselves again, but tired.

When they get back to the house, Frisk trips on their way up the stairs and in a bid to pretend they were 100 percent ok they wink at Sans as he catches them with magic, "Looks like I fell for you."

They don't notice but I do when Sans stutters a little, "told ya stairs are dangerous."

As soon as they land on the sheets they fall asleep. I don't, though, so I get to notice him tucking them in as he crawls in next to them for his own nap.

He wraps an arm around them, cuddling them a little before speaking quietly. 

"...thanks kid."

I don't think I'll ever be sure who he was thanking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next...stuff starts happening other than talking.


	4. Many Things Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing happens

There was once a time when Frisk thought they could never be annoyed at Papyrus. That time was over. Why? Well, because all Papyrus wanted to do was...talk. And Frisk wasn’t one to be called ‘talkative’. 

They had already talked and told Papyrus all about the fact that they were uncontrollably resetting the timeline. 

They told them that there had been a weird scary supernatural force that had been hanging around in the void. That it was because of all the hate between monsters and humans and it somehow infected us and made us kill.

 

And I still haven’t told Frisk that it’s still there. The static. Sometimes I hear it.

 

Big shocker was. Papyrus remembers most of that stuff in a weird way. He said that usually he doesn’t remember other timelines until it’s too late but because Frisk was “BEING REALLY SLOW ABOUT GETTING BETTER, FEEL BETTER ALREADY” he had managed to remember before the timeline “ended” or it stopped mattering.

I was not surprised.

Frisk was. Which led to them being annoyed.

Kinda reasonable. I’d be annoyed too if I were alive and struggling and hiding things for other people’s sake when, guess what, they know.

There’d be no problem with all of this except for the fact that Frisk wasn’t expressing their anger and Sans…...was not helping. Actually I have no idea where he’s been. He’s definitely avoiding one of us, and it’s a fifty-fifty chance on who it is.

Personally I hope it’s me, because at least that’ll make sense.

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS DEMANDS THAT YOU SIT DOWN AND TELL ME WHY YOU WON’T GO FIND UNDYNE AND ALPHYS AND EVERYONE ELSE. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE BARRIER OR THE SURFACE.”

Really Papyrus is the most logical, awesome guy in this whole town. He just wants Frisk to reconnect to their friends. And he knows that Frisk going out will drag Sans out of this weird mood he’s been in for the last two days.

But once again Frisk has crushed their anger deep within so it’s all mixed up with their anxiety and sadness.

_ Dude. Just say what’s on your mind. I can’t believe you’re giving Papyrus this treatment. _

Frisk hadn’t spoken to Papy since he ambushed them with a guidebook on, “Dealing with depression and how to win”

That was 2 days ago.

I notice Sans peeking into the living room from the kitchen, looking curious at his brother acting so differently.

To be honest he’s looked kind of sick to his stomach every time he sees Papyrus. I wonder if Papyrus said something to him?

Suddenly I was staring at nothing as Frisk suddenly curled up on the floor, shaking, and holding back tears, “Stop it stop it I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna speak to anyone or do anything or do this anymore!”

 

_...frisk? _

 

They whimpered as they spoke, “I’m tired.”

Well.

Yeah. How many resets has it been now? Not even including all the deaths and times that we just hid in the ruins hoping nothing would happen if we did.

My mind flashes back to that strong feeling of hope they had that night in the lab on the sofa with the two skeletons.

_ Where’d your determination go? _

There was….nothing there. If they’d died right now, I’d have to drag them back to life by the toes.

I felt something cold wash through me at their next words.

_ ‘Dead like I wish I was’  _ were the words they thought it was ok to think at me.

Their face lacked any expression at the moment they looked up and shut off their emotions so they wouldn’t breakdown again.

Papyrus looked strangely triumphant.

Sans looked empty.

Frisk wasn’t annoyed anymore, they just seemed kind of confused at themselves.

They signed, “Sorry.”

“ki--”

“FINALLY I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER CRACK, YOU’RE WORSE THAN SANS!”

I felt their face twitch in a repressed frown.

Papyrus was kneeling in front of them, hands on their shoulders.

“IT’S OK YOU KNOW. YOU CAN BE SAD OR MAD OR WHATEVER YOU WANT. WE’RE NOT GOING TO ABANDON YOU.”

Frisk felt short of breath and they didn’t know why.

“yeah”

“AND I’M SURE UNDYNE AND ALPHYS WILL FEEL THE SAME. IF THEY EVEN REMEMBER? I DON’T THINK THEY DO. BUT WHEN HAVE WE FELT ANY DIFFERENTLY ABOUT YOU, FRISK? I DON’T KNOW ABOUT MY BROTHER, BUT I’VE ALWAYS FELT THE SAME ABOUT YOU EACH AND EVERY TIME.”

They bit their lip and I subtly removed it from between their teeth and unclenched their hands.

“yeah”

Way to contribute Sans.

“SO. JUST REMEMBER. PAPYRUS LOVES YOU SO NO NEED TO DO THIS TERRIBLE SELF ISOLATION.”

And now they’re crying. Good. They hadn’t cried since that scary panic attack at the beginning of this reset. This time there was a steady flow of saltwater streaming from their eyes. And no screaming.

Sans patted them on the head.

“wow when’d you get so good at this bro?”

“I’M GOOD AT EVERYTHING SANS. YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO MY ADVICE MORE.”

I patted myself on the back for doing absolutely nothing. Again.

_ No Chara...you’re always always here for me and I never thank you for it. _

I don’t have a choice but to be here and I think Frisk is missing that fundamental point.

_ I am not. You could just….not speak and ignore me. But you don’t. You make sure I don’t do...stupid things. And take care of me. Thanks. _

Sigh. You’re welcome I guess, Frisk.

Before they knew it they were tucked into Papyrus’ bed. And asleep. I blinked at the ceiling. Two white pinpricks of light appeared in my sight. I did an amazing job  _ not _ screaming.

“Sup?”

He stares at me for a long drawn out moment, and floats me out of bed and down the hallway.

“....Sans.”

“yeah”

“.........”

“sup?”

“That’s what I asked you!”

“not so loud, kid.”

“....What is wrong with you skeleton.”

“lots.”

The door to his room opened soundlessly and it took a lot for me not to react.

There were scorch marks all over the floor and wall, the window had been broken and a cold breeze drifted in, making me shiver.

The bed had a gash in the frame, making it unable to stand so the mattress was halfway on the floor. The sheets were made oddly enough. Like an attempt at fixing a broken bone with a bandaid.

The treadmill looked like it had been shoved rather forcefully into the opposite corner of the room and there was paper and books littering the floor in front of Sans’ bookcase.

His room was a mess.

“U-um...what exactly is wrong? Is there anything I can--”

“so i just stole your body.”

“Okay?”

“and before i tell you anything else i need to know...do i have any reason to...worry about you?”

I tilted my head in confusion, and he seemed to relax marginally.

“like...no more noise in the brain...i won’t be needing to a-void any attempts on my brother’s life agian?”

I rubbed my arms together and mumbled,”...static…”

“huh?”   
“I’ve been..um..I’ve been hearing static...sometimes? But it doesn’t tell me to do anything! Or...do anything..really.”

His face is blank but I can still see his starlike eyes.

“I...This sounds bad.”

“...interestin’”

“Huh?”

“don’t worry about it kid. so. not a cause for worry then. i think i can revive you from the dead, chara. ain’t that great?”

“What?! How? I don’t wanna be Flowey 2.0!”

“nah your cases are completely different.”

I glance out the broken window, feeling very thrown, “This is...alot.”

“i know. that’s why i wanted to tell you first, so you had time to take it in without frisk. i’ll tell ya both the details together though.”

The words without Frisk rang sharply in my ears.

“Why have you been a-void-ing them anyway, huh?”

Sans continues to blankly grin in my direction. I’m gonna break you if it’s the last thing I do, bone boy. 

“i haven’t. dunno where you could’ve gotten that idea.”

“You have! More importantly...are you ok? What’s been up with you these days. Forget me and Frisk, you’ve barely even spoken to Papyrus lately.”

His face twitches minutely and he breaks eye contact with me.

“nothing for you to worry about, chara.”

Wait. It’s barely noticeable but my  body is slowly being dragged out of the room. I look down. My soul is blue.

“Sans!”

“time for bed.”

Oh. No way.

I gripped the doorway with my hands and anchored my feet on the doorframe.

“We. Are. Talking!”

“kid, you hate talking.”

“I don’t care!”

“chara.”

“I’ll tell Papyrus! Then you can suffer like Frisk did!”

“don’t.”

He didn’t even sound like he was resisting.

“I’ll tell Frisk too.”

“you can...not...tell frisk things? aren’t you two sharing a brain?”

“Not the point, bone boy!”

I had the pleasure of seeing Sans stutter, “b-bone boy??” And then he laughed and it was the realest emotion I’d seen from him in days. Cool.

“seriously. it’s nothing.”

I had no clue on when to give up, “...When I am alive again. We are. Talking.”

I could feel my face screw up at the word and I must’ve looked disgusted, because the he giggled.

I eyed the floor around me for broken glass, and finding none, I laid down, exhausted.

“told ya it’s bed time.”

I lifted my head to see Sans with one arm and his head haphazardly on the mattress and the rest of his body splayed on the floor. I giggled.

We laid there quietly for a few minutes before I heard him grunt. He picked me up with his actual bony arms and before I knew it we were on the sofa.

I was no help as he attempted to maneuver me onto the sofa.

I ended up dragging his light body down with me and we feel asleep in a pile of uncomfortable limbs.

I awakened in a foggy haze.

**_Morning Chara!_ **

_ Morning...Frisk? I slept? _

**_You slept!_ **

_ I can...do that? _

**_I guess so!_ **

_ Huh. I thought it was...just an undead thing that I never slept. _

**_I didn't,  I just thought you were really really depressed._ **

_ Huh. _

I groggily tried to sit up but couldn't. I was pinned by a sleeping monster.

_ Hey Frisk...why aren't you… _

**_Controlling us? Don't really...feel like it._ **

I wiggled my way towards the edge of the couch in an attempt to escape.

Futile.

_ I think...I want to spend some time in here. Y’know. Looking around. _

Some...time? Time...looking at what? I wasn’t sure what Frisk meant, but I was too focused on my slow escape from Sans’ clutches. His arms tightened around me and I let my body sag in defeat.

There was a moment of complete silence and I heard nothing and I felt like was drowning when suddenly all the quiet sounds of the late morning came back to me in a rush. The bunnies walking outside, the chime of Grillby’s door opening and closing in the distance. The light icy breeze. The creaking of the house. The static of the TV. The sound of Papyrus’ footsteps above me. The low hum of machinery below. The TV in front of me. My own breathing.

 

The television was off.

 

I didn’t know what Frisk meant.

I blinked and Sans’ eyes were open and his expression was strained.

I tried to ask what was wrong but nothing exited my mouth.

Frisk tried to grab my hand.

How? I was possessing Frisk, so they couldn’t grab my hand could they? I was wrong because I was no longer inside Frisk’s body, I was outside of it and they were all looking up at me. Papyrus was now standing at the stairs and Sans was using his magic to grab...something.

 

I look down, feeling rather distant.

 

Oh. That’s my soul. I guess I did still have one. It’s a mess, not even in any proper shape, glowing blue with Sans’ magic. He was pulling rather hard.

I don’t know how much longer it is, but Papyrus is grabbing at me too. I don’t really understand the problem, I’ve just become rather...unattached from Frisk.

I try to speak, but nothing happens.

I try to move.

I try to do anything at all.

Nothing happens.

I look down.

_ Oh. Not this again. _

I am pulled into the void once again.

“No!”

Frisk’s scream is the last thing I hear before I am dragged in. There’s no Gaster or oppressive anger waiting for me this time. Just a sense of confusion.

“Why’d you bring me here…? I’m just some dead human kid. I wasn’t even alive during the war.”

I feel a sense of confusion. The darkness converges into a strange shape eerily similar to my own.

“No fighting this time?”

I jump as my broken soul is pulled out by its strange magic.

I warily grant it mercy.

It seems to feel triumphant glee as it immediately grants me mercy, ending the fight. It’s emotions feel similar to that of a child. It learned from last time.

I let out a sigh of relief.

The shape it has formed seems to be made of stars and dust and otherworldly things. I step forward to inspect it, and it also steps forward, mirroring my actions.

“So...um...why’d you kidnap me?”

Loud static erupts through the space, hurting my head.

“Uh! Wow! Um. Ow. I don’t understand?”

The shape cringes back, moving a bit more independently. Pictures form in my mind.

I question why I’m able to communicate with this….monster? At all? It’s definitely made of magic, at least.

“You wanted to...hang out, is what you’re saying?”

The shape tried to nod and shake it’s head all at once.

“Um...talk and something else?”

It nodded furiously. I was scared it would injure itself.

“What else?”

The shape spreads it’s arm wide and it’s me. That’s what I used to look like when I was alive.

“That’s fucking weird.”

I think the void just pouted at me.

“Well it is.”

Lighter static. Not enough to hurt my head, but enough to scold me as it holds...my?...arms out towards me, in a clear request to hold hands.

Well. I’ve done weirder, and there’s no one here to see.

I touch it’s hands tentatively, touching them finger by finger and the void looks ecstatic.

Suddenly I feel like I’m getting pulled in. It is warm and gentle and kind of like Undyne’s hugs as I dissolve and reform. I see flashes and images of a small lab I’ve never seen before. My dead body laying preserved in a machine, being fed something through a tube. A dark force sucking it in. My body being reformed and given life.

I know Sans told me he stole my body, but that’s a little creepy.

The void’s weird look alike puppet is gone when my vision refocuses on the real world.

I clench and unclench my fingers.

I feel it.

My mouth drops open.

I can feel everything. I don’t have to try to feel real.

I realize the void stole my body from Sans.

How many times will my grave be robbed.

I slap myself in the face.

“OW.”

The void is laughing at me.

“Holy shit.”

I spin in a circle, and giggle.

“Holy shit!”

The void is laughing with me.

It is dark. I feel alone. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I feel.

I have to go back to Frisk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 is Chara's story. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to write Sans and Frisk's POV of this whole confusing mess next chapter to clear things up.


	5. Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans' POV on saving Chara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for depression, dissociation, and subtle mention of suicide. And suicidal ideation. This is SUCH a happy fic.

One lesson Sans finally learned is that everything he does is pointless.

 

He learned this when he stood in the snow watching his best friend screaming in the worst way above his brother’s dust.

 

The first time life tried to teach this lesson to him was when he did everything he could to stop people from belittling Papyrus. He threatened, he explained, he asked, but in the end he just had to let time and fickle minds do the trick so they forgot they’d even hurt his little brother. Nothing he did changed what he did, so after that he never tried to change anyone’s mind. Not really. He just watched and if someone did something bad to him and his own, he rebelled against it. If they were kind, he rewarded them.

 

The second was when Gaster died. There was and is nothing he could do for him. In the end Frisk and Chara were the ones with that power.

 

The third was Frisk themselves. Nothing he did  _ mattered _ . He befriended them when they were nice but it didn’t stop them from being forced to murder every single monster in the underground, And nothing he did helped them emotionally either.

 

So. Sans thought. If  he can’t do anything, maybe he can do things that will help his friends indirectly.

 

He followed Frisk and Chara into the void even though Papyrus had been killed and there was nothing he could do for him or for them. In the end, they saved him. But he at least distracted the void so Gaster could be saved, right?

 

He begged Chara to load a save after Papyrus died  _ again _ even though in the end, it was Frisk who reset. Though even he couldn’t deny, at least he’d stopped Frisk from mutilating themselves.

 

So maybe it just wasn’t that he wasn’t doing enough? Or doing anything well enough? Trying hard enough?

 

What could he do?

 

Chara was still trapped as a weird pseudo living being attached to Frisk’s soul.

Maybe he could fix that.

Something only he could do.

So Sans snuck his way into the ruins and did the dirty job of digging up Chara’s body.

It was preserved well by monster magic and looked like it could get up and walk

He took it back with him to the lab and attached it to his medical equipment, doing some rudimentary scans.

“huh”

Just like he thought. There were traces of the void all over the kid. If he could use that as a link to anchor their soul to their original body, then maybe. Maybe they’d be alive again.

Personal issues aside, Sans just wanted Chara to have their life back again. Maybe they weren’t  _ really _ friends but he thought they’d been through enough.

He’d tried calling Gaster on his way to the Ruins for help but the call wouldn’t go through. Would he even have the same number after all this time? Didn’t matter, he was alone now.

Sans put his fingers to Chara’s forehead and sent a small jolt through them and into their brain. What he wanted to do was use magic as the link between their soul and their body. It would work like a magnet.

However, he had to do it in small bursts or risk ruining their body. If he was using the void it would be a fast process since Chara’s soul seemed to be practically part of the thing, but that was too dangerous and he didn’t want to use them as a guinea pig.

He waited until the magic had stabilized and then went upstairs for a snack.

He was happy to see that Frisk was still asleep.

He could feel the sharp pain behind his eye sockets that meant he was long due for some sleep but he just didn’t want to.

Sleep meant nightmares about a bunch of things he wasn’t up to dealing with. Ever.

It was almost morning anyway so he grabbed some cookies and a cup of coffee and went up to his room.

He didn’t really feel like doing anything now that he was seated so he just sat and had his meager meal and stared at the wall.

Eventually. It could’ve been seconds or minutes or hours later, his door banged open, the doorknob caught just before it crashed against the wall.

“mornin’ bro.”

Papyrus looked....bothered. And quiet. Those were usually bad signs.

“hey? hey papy, come and..”Papyrus plopped onto the bed next to him, “sit. yeah. cool. what’s wrong?”

“WELL.”

He opened his mouth to encourage Papyrus to continue, but he didn’t need to.

“FRISK KILLED ME, AND I FORGIVE THEM. EVEN FOR LAST TIME! BUT. I HAVE TO ADMIT IT BOTHERS ME A LITTLE.”

Sans’ entire body had frozen, “you remember…?”

“...YEAH. I ALWAYS DO. BUT USUALLY IT’S RIGHT BEFORE THEY GO BACK SO I NEVER GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU.”

“oh.”

_ My lying...was pointless. _

“is that what’s bothering you?”

“NO!” Papyrus looked truly frustrated, “NOTHING I’M DOING STOPS THEM FROM JUST. DOING THAT SCARY SHUTTING DOWN THING THEY DO. WHERE THEIR FACE GOES BLANK AND IT’S LIKE THEY’RE NOT EVEN THERE AND EVENTUALLY CHARA HAS TO COME OUT AND MAKE SURE THEY STILL MOVE AND DO THINGS!”

Sans nods in agreement. Their dwindling mental health was bothering him too. He loved having them around but he thought maybe just spending time with two skeletons and never seeing anyone else wasn’t the best remedy for them.

“IT’S NOT LIKE WHEN YOU GET ALL SAD AND CREEPY AND I’M SCARED FOR YOU, IT’S ACTUALLY WORSE! I DIDN’T THINK ANYONE COULD BE WORSE, BUT FRISK IS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

“well you could just  _ creep  _ up behind them and pick them up and shake them like you do to me.”

Sans hated when Papyrus did that, but annoyance was definitely more of a feeling than the numb state he was starting to sink into. Sans didn’t mind Papyrus noticing. He felt terrible finding out that he couldn’t even protect Papyrus from the harsh truth of his own murder. Many murders. 

A quick side glance from Papyrus clued in to the fact that he had noticed his brother was off.

Papyrus pushed at Sans and he fell shoulder first from his sitting position on to the bed with no resistance.

“oof”

Papyrus rolled his eyes.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?”

Sans thought how Frisk acted was very similar to a timeline he’s pretending never happened, one where he was pushed too far.

“you should annoy the shit out of them”

“...WHAT.”

“yeah seriously bro. just tell them how much you care and how you want to help and bother them until they can’t take it anymore.”

“THAT SOUNDS ANNOYING. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PRANK.”

“nah, it’ll work like a charm.”

“I’VE NEVER PURPOSELY TRIED TO BOTHER ANYONE BEFORE.”

“you’ll do fine. just be yourself and turn it up. a lot.”

“I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE INSULTING ME.”

“never. you’re the coolest.”

“IS IT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT SANS!”

“compliment, i don’t do sarcasm. that’s the worst kinda humor.”

“OK. I AM REASSURED. I BELIEVE YOU. DO YOU THINK THAT’LL WORK THOUGH?”

“like a charm.”

“SANS?”

“sup bro”

“WHAT...WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THEY KILLED ME, THAT FIRST TIME?”

“...”

“I...WHAT DID THEY DO?”

“listen papyrus,” His brother shifted a little, nervously, “they were being controlled. the void-it’s this dark weird place. kind of like being in a busted TV or something. i don’t really know how to explain it--”

“I THINK I SAW IT. WHEN I DIED. THERE’S JUST NOTHING. EXCEPT THERE KIND OF IS?”

“huh. yeah.”

Sans’ fingers wove through the bedsheets and gripped them tightly, trying not to rip them in frustration. Another horror he didn’t protect his brother from. Did he ever do anything right?

“well. yeah. that place isn’t a place. it’s sentient. and it controlled frisk. chara too. and made them kill you.”

“OH”

“you and every other monster.”

“Oh...I...I thought that…” Papyrus was oddly quiet for a short moment, “I THOUGHT THEY WERE BEING CONTROLLED. I GUESS WAS RIGHT.”

Sans gave an emotionless chuckle, “heh. yeah, you’re pretty smart bro.”

Papyrus beamed with pride, just plain not understanding the tone of his brother’s laugh, but accepting the genuine compliment. He loved his brother and how supportive he was.

“after they...they…” Sans was shaking from the emotional strain of talking about it. He didn’t want to tell Papyrus what he did. How he sat there and did nothing.

“they killed everything they could find. every single monster.”

The question was clear as crystals on Papyrus’ face. ‘What about you?’ is what he wanted to know.

“i watched...i just,” Horror dawned on the younger skeleton’s face, “you were gone and there was...i could have stopped them in Snowdin but i…”

He could hear his brother’s bones clacking against one another in his strain not to fall apart, “i didn’t do anything, i just watched and watched, cause..well y’know what papy. there was no point to me doing anything, they were just going to keep resetting and you were gone. so i didn’t do anything. but then i saw my reflection in a window in the castle and i saw your scarf and your dust was still on it and suddenly i was really really mad pap. really mad.”

Papyrus wrapped his arms carefully around his small older brother and pulled him close. He didn’t really notice as he tried to dig his hands into his eye sockets. Papyrus made sure he was comfortable but unable to move too much.

“i was furious, i wanted them d-dead so i killed them. more than once. or twice. i killed them a lot. over and over. and i wanted them to kill me just once, and maybe it’d be over then and they wouldn’t reset. or maybe one of the times i killed them would free them from the anomaly. or something. i dunno.”

Papyrus felt a cold tear drop unto his arm. And another.

“SANS. THAT MUST’VE BEEN JUST...SO HARD FOR YOU.”

Another tear.

“huh?”

“YOU WERE ALL ALONE. I CAN’T PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH AND HOW YOU DEALT WITH IT, BUT I LEFT YOU ALL ALONE.”

Papyrus didn’t realize he could feel so guilty for dying.

“it was...hard?”

Papyrus figured Sans hadn’t spared a thought for how his actions had affected himself. He had probably been upset about everyone else the whole time.

“don’t you get it?”

He loosened his hold on his brother as he wiggled vigorously in an attempt to escape.

“everything i did...there was no point! nothing i did saved you! nothing!”

Sans had to slide off the bed by his arms. His feet were too short to reach the floor. Papyrus would’ve laughed at any other time magic wasn’t pouring off his brother in waves.

“SANS…”

“Nothing! Nothing worked Papyrus! Nothing I did changed anything.”

Small sharp bones formed in the air around Sans and Papyrus stood up slowly as they danced around the both of them in Sans’ grief.

“Nothing I do has ever ever changed anything!”

The bones flew in every direction, wrecking Sans’ small amount of belongings. The grin was completely gone from Sans’ face.

“Not when you were little. not when gaster...not for frisk..nothing i do has ever mattered.”

Huge monstrous heads slowly materialized in the room. 

“it’s like i’ve never mattered, like i’m not even here!”

Sans’ eyes widened, noticing the blasters only after they formed and had begun to charge.   
He quickly took a shortcut to the hallway, pulling Papyrus with him out of the blast range.

“shit shit shit shit fuck i am so--”

“SANS, ONE DAY YOU’RE GOING TO BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU I WOULDN’T BE WHO I AM IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU.”

“i cannot believe i did that i. i’ll stay away from you for a while i’m sorry you’re not hurt are you. papyrus you’re not hurt right.”

Papyrus gave Sans the most genuine smile he could when he says, “YOU’D NEVER HURT ME. I’M FINE SANS. I PROMISE YOU WILL BE TOO, SOMEDAY.”

Sans cries for a while after and Papyrus takes him down to the kitchen and makes him some tea.

Sans was exceptionally quiet when he drank the tea.

He managed to avoid Papyrus for days after the incident, no matter how many signals Papyrus gave him that he’s fine and he’s worried about him.

Papyrus took his brother’s advice and was harsher and more blunt than he would usually be when he tried to talk to Frisk.

It ended up working.

The day of the aftermath of his first breakthrough to Frisk seemed like a good one. Sans was on the same floor of the house as him for more than a few seconds.

He’s halfway down the stairs when he sees Sans and Chara napping together. He knows it’s napping because Chara has the same sleep habits as his brother, ghostliness aside.

He never believed them when they claimed they didn’t sleep because they were dead already “so what is the point”.

He runs back upstairs for a camera and by the time he makes it halfway down again he spots Chara being forcefully dragged out of Frisk’s body. Sans wakes up all at once, magic instinctually latching on to the remnant of Chara to protect them.

They are dragged upwards and into the void.

There was nothing to be done and Papyrus distantly thinks, it must be terrible if this is how helpless Sans feels all the time.

He runs all the way downstairs at Frisk’s shout.

Sans looks...angry. Angry at being helpless.

Papyrus doesn’t like seeing his brother angry. He finds it scary. Terrifying actually.

Papyrus blinks and his brother is gone.

Frisk is panicking, “where….where?”

“OH. YOU’VE NEVER SEEN MY BROTHER TAKE A SHORTCUT. I’M NOT SURE...WHERE HE WENT.”

“chara. what do we do? i have to get chara back!”

Suddenly there is a burst of magical energy in the room. The two occupant whip around to see Sans almost floating with the force of his own magic. Bright blue magic is practically dripping off of him.

“SANS...WHAT DID YOU DO?”

He unclenches a hand and a syringe falls to the floor. His teeth are gritted almost painfully and he lifts two hands, summoning blasters to aim at where Chara disappeared.

“heh. j-just. a bit of...DETERMINATION.”

Before Papyrus can get in a single word of how dangerous that is--because all monsters know how dangerous concentrated aspects are--Sans fires his blasters. They are blinding and louder than they’ve ever been before. Papyrus shields himself and Frisk with his scarf.

When the noise stops there is a hole the size of a pebble. All three of them look at the hole, Sans’ magic sparking the whole time. Behind the hole is darkness.

“SANS?”

“yup. just enough power to blast a hole in the timeline.”

His voice was soft. Frisk looked over to him worriedly but their vision was immediately drawn back to the hole when a red shape squeezed its way through.

It was Chara.

The hole collapsed in upon itself and disappeared like it had never existed.

“Chara?”

The soul floated towards Frisk, but couldn’t find any purchase.

Papyrus gasped, “HUMANS CAN’T ABSORB SOULS FRISK! CHARA...THEIR SOUL.”

“They’re healed?”

“the void healed them...damn it was probably watching me work with them. i was tryin’ to repair their body.”

“You were what???”

Frisk couldn’t tear their eyes away from the sight of Papyrus housing Chara’s soul in his ribcage long enough to question Sans.

“BROTHER, ARE YOU GOING TO BE OK? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?”

“had to save them...i had to..”

Sans’ body seemed to sway in an imaginary breeze before he crumpled to his knees.

“could you take me down to my lab...keys are in my pocket…”

“LAB???? SURE?”

“yeah just...put me next to the dead body, nature will do the rest…”

“Dead...body?”

“...THAT WAS CREEPY EVEN FOR YOU BUT...ALRIGHT?”

Sans needed to be carried down the stairs and around to the back of the house.

When he was laid on the table next to Chara, he gripped their hand and let his excess magic flow over them. Magic was energy and energy couldn’t disappear. It had to go somewhere. It couldn’t stay with him, or he’d die, so he decided to put it to good use.

Eventually he felt more like himself and he left out a tired huff and sat up, the room spinning slightly around him. His eyes focused on a worried looking Papyrus and Frisk. He glanced towards Chara’s body. Things looked promising in that department. Their soul was whole thanks to the creepy anomaly void thing and their body had all the properties it needed to stay alive. Other than a beating heart and working brain, but that was easily fixed with modern science.

“SANS?”

“that’s better.”

“YOU SCARE ME SOMETIMES.”

“sorry. i just…y’know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "had to do something that matters."


	6. I'm Dealing With it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's dealing with it

Frisk fidgets in the corner of the lab they chose to stand in. They're still shaken by Chara being taken and Sans almost killing himself. They didn’t know exactly what determination did but they'd seen Flowey. That stuff was scary.

Sans was laying on what looked similar to a cocoon, but seemed to be life support, next to a human body that looked vaguely similar to their own.

They could see why people thought they looked like Chara but there were many many differences. Their facial structure wasn't as defined as the fallen human’s, their hair wasn't quite so light, their legs were longer than Chara’s. Frisk wondered how their body had stayed so...pristine after being dead for so long. 

They blamed it on magic.

They could see the magic flowing from Sans into Chara, making their body look more and more alive with every extra drop.

And Sans looked less and less like he was about to dust from the strain of all that magic.

It was scary.

He'd looked like his bones were melting to the floor and his eyes were on fire with his magic.

Frisk took a deep breath and held it.

Another jolt as the magic flowed into Chara’s body.

Frisk breathed out and approached Papyrus.

“Are you okay?” they signed.

Papyrus nodded as he stared at his brother. Frisk could imagine how he must feel because they felt the same. Horrified and terrified and upset that Sans had risked himself like that. Frisk knew very well that the void may have just given Chara back if they waited just a little bit. There's the possibility that there was no need for him to take a known dangerous drug.

“OK THAT'S WEIRD”

Frisk tilted their head slightly.

“CHARA IS TALKING TO ME IN MY HEAD. THEY'RE AWAKE AND IT FEELS WEIRD.”

“I’m so glad you're okay Chara.”

Papyrus nodded, “YEAH THAT'S FINE.”

Frisk figured this is what it must’ve been like for people to watch them talk to Chara.

“Friiiiisk,” Chara’s voice came out of Papyrus’ mouth, “This is weird.”

Frisk blinked. This was weird.

“Hi!” Weird, but Frisk was so relieved that it didn't matter.

“Hey. I'm gonna give Papy his voice back now, I'm tired.”

“Okay.” Frisk was touched that Chara only came out to reassure them that they were okay.

“Bye.”

Frisk steps forward and hugs Papyrus/Chara and mumbles a goodbye aloud into Papyrus’ hip. They don't let go and know Chara has retreated into Papyrus when they are scooped up and cuddled closely to the skeleton’s collar.

“Alright?” they question quietly.

Papyrus shakes his head no this time and they both watch as the magic drifts off of Sans and he lays there seemingly asleep.

He eventually rises, swaying, but for some reason they are both frozen to help him.

Papyrus lowers them to the ground and finally supports his brother as he attempts to crawl off of the bed, practically falling to the floor.

“sorry. i just...y’know.”

Those are the meager words that manage to convey exactly how much and in what manner he values himself.

Frisk frowns.

Sans doesn't seem to know what to do with himself now that he's standing.

Frisk continues to look unhappy as they quietly insert themself between Papyrus and Sans, supporting him. Then they wrap their arms around Sans’ ribcage and tuck his head under their chin.

After a long awkward moment, he finally moves and wraps his arms around Frisks middle. His entire body is shaking and Frisk hums a little in sympathy.

They gently run a hand up and down his back and then move to unlatch his arms from around them. Frisk then wraps their arms around him, just above the waist and tosses him over their shoulder.

He’s even lighter than they expected.

Then Papyrus picked both of them up and Frisk felt a warm rush of happiness.

“YOU ARE BOTH SO SMALL YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT UP THE STAIRS!”

Sans grunted in protest.

After many limbs hitting doorways and a dangerous moment on the stairs they finally made it up to the 2nd floor of the house.

Papyrus figured Frisk didn't want to sleep away from either Chara or Sans so he went directly to his room.

He ungracefully dumped his two charges on the bed and then flopped face down onto the empty spot.

He was asleep in seconds. Frisk stared at him in surprise but figured absorbing a soul must be tiring.

They weren’t quite as tired as the brothers but they figured the two needed quiet time. Eventually they tried to crawl out of the bed so they wouldn’t wake either of them with their fidgeting but immediately had Sans clinging to them and mumbling negatives.

Not quite asleep then.

Typical.

Frisk felt restless, but not terrible as they had ever since this timeline started. They could barely believe it had only been about two weeks.

A shiver ran briefly through them and they turned over so they could curl their body into a ball. They rubbed their face on Sans’ hoodie. It was soft and calming.

“Go to sleep, Frisk.”

They lifted their arm towards Papyrus to sign an affirmative.

They found Chara’s ever presence when they weren’t possessing  _ them _ rather creepy. They said so.

There was no response.

 

The next morning they awoke to banging on the front door. Papyrus’ footsteps stomped across the wooden floor and there was a shout.

Frisk practically leapt off the bed and ran out the bedroom door, barely catching themselves from flying off the balcony due to their own momentum.

A flash of blue and they spotted Undyne downstairs.

“A HUMAN!! Alphys said Sans was in trouble!! Is this what it was!”

“NO! I MEAN YES THEY ARE A HUMAN, BUT -- UNDYNE, GOOD MORNING.”

“Good morning!! Why isn’t the human dead!” Undyne stabbed her spear into the ground where Papyrus’ foot had been a second before.

“THE HUMAN IS OUR FRIEND NOW. AND SANS WAS IN TROUBLE BUT HE SEEMS OK NOW! HE’S SLEEPING AS USUAL. HOW DID ALPHYS FIGURE THAT OUT?”

“She said she went for a snack and it looked like someone broke into her lab! That was weird so she went down and there was some dangerous thing missing that only Sans could get to! And that it was dangerous! Which is weirder! Because what would Sans be doing in the labs in the first place. Huh?! Tell me that Papyrus! Why would your lazy brother be doing with anything dangerous?!”

“SHUSH YOU’RE GOING TO WAKE HIM UP, UNDYNE.”

Frisk couldn’t help but giggle at how ridiculous Undyne was making the situation seem.

“so--”

“SON OF A--” Undyne had instinctually summoned a row of spears at Sans sneaking up behind her and dismissed them once she realized it was him.

“whoops,” Sans put a hand to his head for a brief moment. He probably shouldn’t have teleported.

“SANS WALK DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE ANY OTHER MONSTER, YOU’RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF.”

“i’m fine, bro.”

Undyne let out a loud breath, “Why. The. Human. And. YOU--” She pointed her spear at Sans, “Who hurt you?”

Frisk had never seen Undyne look so...protective of anyone apart from Alphys. They slowly made their way downstairs.

No one in the room really wanted to explain so Frisk did it, because they were worried.

“Sans took...determination?”

“Determination..you...Determination like..DETERMINATION? Like DT???? Sans, you could’ve..you could’ve fucking died.”

The look on Undyne’s face was dark and Papyrus didn’t even scold her for cursing.

“i’m good.”

“Like hell you are. Summon a bone.”

“why?”

“Just do it!!!”

Papyrus shifted on his feet.

“didn’t know you were so eager for me t--”

“SANS! NO!”

Frisk giggled and Papyrus looked betrayed and offended. Undyne was not distracted.

“ok”

“Do it.”

“....ok”

Sans lifted his arm in the motion he uses for pulling items out of the pocket in space he uses for his bones but it feels like he is trying to move his hand through a river current. He struggles. Eventually a chip the size of a rib forms.

Undyne looks sad but triumphant.

“Come on, let’s go see Alphys.”

Frisk has never seen Sans so stubborn and cowed. He really did act like a kid sometimes.

Frisk doesn’t even think about the fact that they’re with Undyne and not being murdered and that they’re moving closer to the Core when they follow the group out the door.

There is a moment in the conversation when they are all looking and Papyrus.

Frisk turns to Sans and he’s quite suddenly not there.

“...Papyrus.” they say quietly.

“UGHHH”

“What? Hey, where’d Sans...oh. That...little shit.”

In a moment of pure childish rebellion he had taken a shortcut to the Core.

 

Alphys was everything but impressed when Sans appeared on the floor of her lab gasping and kneeling on the floor. Endogeny whined in worry.

“S-sans, are you okay?!”

“i’m fine,” Sans said sharply, “just magical exhaustion.”

Alphys didn’t back off at his unusually sharp tone. She was used to his moods.

“If you k-know that then you know better than to use extremely delicate magic that will wear you out  _ even more _ !” Her voice strengthened towards the end of her sentence. Endogeny had bounded up to Sans and was drooling at his feet. His almost permanent smile was still intact but he looked annoyed. He always had hated people worrying about him.

“Come sit down.”

“fine” Sans sat down on the nearest bed and Endogeny climbed up on top next to him, playing the role of doting mother.

“I-I’ll go get you a restorative.”

“...fine. Papyrus and Undyne...and a human will be here any second.”

Alphys wrung her claws together, looking down, “Oh, I know a-all about the hu-human.”

Sans stiffened and the amalgamate put their paws on his lap. He relaxed. A little less annoyed.

“how?”

He was expecting to say she saw them through her cameras.

“W-w-well. Well y-you see. It. Uh.”

“it’s okay alphys, i’m just curious. i don’t think you’ll do anything bad.”

Alphys let out a deep breath and adjusted her glasses so they were sitting firmly on her face.

“A flower told me?”

Sans looked at her blankly.

“uh...hey alph...would that flower happen to be able to be...alive?”

“Uhhh. Yes?”

“ _ howdy, i’m flowey, flowey the flower”  _ Sans imitated in an eerily perfect voice.

“Yes? Uh, Sans how do you know about Flowey--I-i only ever. It was a-after--”

“Hi, bone boy!”

Sans immediately attempted to summon a bone and attack the flower that had just appeared on Alphys’ shoulder, but he couldn’t do it fast enough. He could feel his magic but he could reach it.

“N-no magic Sans, and no fighting! H-he’s helping!”

Flowey looked cowed and annoyed as he spoke, “I’m helping Chara.”

There was silence as Sans tentatively relaxed but refusing to take his eyes off the flower.

“...I’ll go get your restorative.”

Sans flopped backwards onto Endogeny. He figured he had maybe a few minutes before Papyrus showed up to yell at him. They’d probably taken the Riverperson’s route. Some older brother he was, he was acting like a child.

He took a deep breath and let it go and relaxed. Even if he didn’t feel like it, he was going to act like himself.

Alphys came back and he quietly took the restorative she brought. It tasted fruity and like...well fireworks?

“heh, thanks alph, that really restored my good mood.”

Alphys giggled. She always had appreciated his jokes. He kind of regretted them drifting apart.

“You’re  _ never  _ in a good mood!” Flowey had chirped maliciously.

“nah, just not around you. ya psycho.”

The flower swayed a little humming a little in agreement.

Now that Sans wasn’t in a defensive mood, he thought it was interesting how much Flowey had changed since he’d last reset. It was interesting.

He stared.

When Flowey noticed him staring he looked a little unnerved and ducked slightly behind one of Alphys’ scales.

“S-sans? Did you know? That Frisk...they killed us? And that Chara did too. A-and. F-flowey too. The void. And...you knew about everything?”

Sans ground his teeth together a little and nodded. One more person he didn’t need to bother lying to.

“How did you deal with all that, Sans? All...a-alone, I mean? That must’ve been...I can’t imagine..”

Sans opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Flowey.

“Does it look like he’s dealing with it?”

“Sans?”

He glared at Flowey, “i’m dealin’ with it.”

It was at that point the doorbell rung.

Alphys put Flowey in a pot on a table towards the wall and Sans hopped off the bed. She scurried upstairs to let the others in. Sans felt a little...nervous, to say the least, now that he was over his fit and feeling better.

Right. He was just going to calmly apologize and explain himself. Reasonable. Right?

“They’re gonna be soooo mad at you for ditching them! I saw what you did you know. I was the one who told Alphys who took the determination.”

Sans legitimately scowled at Flowey then.

“I was confused at first, what reason would Sans the skeleton have for taking a shot of pure concentrated DT? I thought, maybe this timeline had gone to shit too.”

“what’s your point flower.”

He went on with a strange look on his face, as though Sans hadn’t spoken at all.

“But then I  _ felt  _ Chara’s soul missing. I have a little bit of them in me too you know. When you absorb a human soul it...it never really leaves.” He’d never seen the Flower look so lost. “And right after you took it and left...I felt them here. Back. Not in the empty dark...really fucking creepy void. That thing. Well it’s done some scary stuff to people with Determination. Be careful.”

Sans wasn’t frowning anymore but he felt lost in the conversation.

“So. Well. Thanks, I guess. For doing that to save them.”

“um…”

“The proper response is you’re welcome, asshole.”

“you’re welcome?”

Sans hated how pleased he felt at being thanked. His first thank you and it’s from  _ Flowey. _ But seeing the kid there and not lashing out or scared or plain lost. Well it was kind of a relief.

Sans could hear Alphys and Undyne’s voices floating down the hallway. And Papyrus’. He could hear the undercurrent of annoyance in his brother’s voice but he wasn’t quite so worried now that he could  _ hear  _ it.

Their eyes meet and Sans gives him a weak smile and Papyrus sighs in relief, “THANK GOODNESS YOU’RE ALRIGHT. I HATE WHEN YOU PULL THINGS LIKE THIS!”

“i’m really sorry pap. i dunno what i was thinking.”

“I KNOW. ARE YOU REALLY OKAY, THOUGH?”

“yeah, good as new. alphys patched me right up.”

“Of course she did!! I told you she would!”

“where’s the kid?”

Sans is suddenly tackled to the ground. 

“OH NO!”

“Yeah!!!! Get ‘em!”

Guess Frisk won Undyne over.

He expects there to be more to the attack but it’s just a small human laying in a heavy heap on top of him.

“Don’t do that.”

“k”

They give him an extremely gentle punch in the chest and got up. Guess they’d had their limit of worrying about him for the day.

They spotted Flowey and walked over to him to ask where he’d been.

“Hey weirdo. Where have I been? Y’know. Around.” Flowey paused as Frisk signed rather wildly at him, “Ew, what? No way am I dealing with that. Ughhhhh yes I am sticking around, now shut up will you.” Frisk did not shut up, “No. Yes. No, what do you mean I have to hang out with you? I don’t want to.”

After all Flowey had just spent a full week making sure their friends would be prepared to deal with them. He needed a break from the ridiculous human.

However Frisk had already grabbed him against his will. He practically wilted.

“I’ll kill you Frisk,” he protested weakly. They both knew he was going to do nothing of the sort.

Alphys scooped the both of them up in a hug, whispering, “It’s so good to see you again, Frisk!”

Frisk stiffened a little before hugging Alphys back and nodding.

Flowey nodded smugly, he knew this would be a good idea. He crawled out of the hug to approach Papyrus.

The younger skeleton immediately moved to let Flowey climb to his shoulder. He remembered then.

“So you’ve got Chara then?”

“YEAH. THEY SAY HI. AND THANKS?”

“Cool.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's Flowey, Undyne, and Alphys..


	7. Not really, though

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science.

“I think it’ll be alright, Sans.” Alphys’ voice was steady.

“yeah?” Sans’ was not.

Frisk did not make a sound and sat on the floor near the door.

Chara’s body had been moved to what was rather dramatically called ‘The True Lab’.

They were in a closed off room, laid on a bed, and Papyrus lay on another right next to them. Alphys seemed more confident working with medical science than her usual as she checked the body’s vitals.

“There’s quite a high amount of void matter around them. T-their Soul too. Which shouldn’t technically be possible, but normally, this type of thing wouldn’t be possible?”

“but was i right?”

Frisk and Papyrus had never heard Sans sound so casually unsure as he leaned over the monitor linked to Papyrus’ Soul and therefore Chara’s.

“O-of course you are, Sans! It’s actually rather brilliant, I would never have thought to use an outside source to link the two aspects. Normally blue magic would just...slide off if left alone but the way you used it..”

Papyrus had a pained look on his face as he lay, unable to move, on the bed. “ALL THIS SCIENCE TALK GIVES ME A HEADACHE.” He lowers his voice to merely a loud tone. It’s only then that they realize he’d really been extremely stressed. They haven’t heard him speak normally in….well since they reset, “It’s just! Well you sound sure this will work, and Chara is getting impatient and they are yelling. A LOT. SO.”

Frisk can imagine it. They used to get very loud in their head too.

Frisk misses them. They feel like they’ve lost a limb.

They feel alone.

“Yeah! We can just. Get to it! Ready, Sans?”

Sans seems to roll his eyes at himself and takes a breath before turning around.

“yeah”

He places his hands over Papyrus’ ribcage, “don’t move, ok bro?”

“I KNOW!!!”

Papyrus is also impatient.

Frisk’s breath catches in their throat as Sans gently nudges Papyrus’ soul out of his body. Chara’s seems to be pulled along with it. As the souls float Chara’s gets closer and closer to Papyrus’. It’s progress is extremely slow, but Sans is happy they didn’t take any longer doing this operation.

Frisk quietly gets to their feet, Papyrus’ soul casting a light glow on their face. Strangely enough though Chara’s soul is shining light, the light does not seem to reflect off of anything. It just is.

They feel drawn to them.

Alphys is so focused on slowly separating the human and monster souls, she doesn’t immediately notice Frisk step slowly past her.

“F-frisk! Don’t-”

Sans’ eyes flash to them and they gasp as they find themselves unable to move. They come back to themselves all at once and look down to find their own soul blue.

Once Sans is sure they are aware, he moves to release them, ‘ _ Wait! Don’t! I think I can’t stop myself if you let go.’ _

Sans looks worried but stops midway through an arm movement.

Frisk stares and tries not to let their eyes wander to Chara. They can feel the void calling to them. They thought the static was Chara’s but it’s in them too. Chara’s static feels completely different to them.

They smile a little before they realize they’re doing it.

Sans seems unnerved but he holds them in place.

“Okay almost done. I just need a jolt to join them. M-my magic isn’t strong enough, Sans I need..”

Sans was already feeling tired. It had only been a day since his hit of DT so he was still recovering. Sweat made it’s way down the back of his skull.

“y-yeah,”

Frisk fell to the floor as Sans suddenly released them and shot a jolt of magic into both Chara’s Soul and body. The final bonding agent created a flash like lightning in the room.

Spots danced before their eyes and the sounds of another person breathing filled the room.

“It worked! Sans we did it!”

Frisk ran to the bed feeling like they couldn’t get to it fast enough. Chara’s body was breathing. Chara was sleeping.

They let out a shaky sigh of relief and felt the static within them settle.

“S-sans, are you okay? Oh I knew this was too soon…” Alphys placed a claw on Sans back to help ground him as he struggled to stay standing.

“i’m good. it was just a bit...shocking…”

“Sansss! No puns!” Papyrus slowly sat up and looked at Frisk, “I feel weird!”

“ _ Like something is missing...right?” _

Papyrus nods before looking to Sans and patting the bed next to him.

The shorter skeleton looks like he might protest for a second before he thinks better of it and walks over, allowing his little brother to float him onto the bed.

He flops backward.

“kid, what was that, just now?”

“ _ Void…”  _ Frisk is feeling tired of talking, even with their hands.

“oh,” Sans sounds appropriately ready to sleep.

“S-sans don’t go to sleep yet, I need to check your stats.”

A flash of distaste passes over his face before he agrees. Alphys summons both their souls, allowing her to look him over.

She jumps a little at something and Frisk almost asks what’s wrong when a look of horror passes over Alphys’ face.

She makes a couple of broken sounds, “u-u-um i, you...hahah you look fine, but you definitely should stop using your magic for a day or two, sans.”

“gotcha, doc.”

Alphys practically shoves Sans’ soul back into his chest.

Sans rolls over so he’s face down and can’t meet anyone’s eyes. He feels disgusted with himself.

Sans doesn’t speak on the way back home and as soon as they’re inside he locks the door and doesn’t come out no matter what Papyrus does.

Frisk makes a worried little hum as Papyrus picks them up, “NYEH HEHEH! It’ll be okay Frisk! We’ll have a try at my brother again later!”

Frisk doesn’t like later. Frisk hates doing nothing. They kick Papyrus’ ribs lightly.

“....I KNOW! I don’t like it either but...well! I was just...really scared for him yesterday. And Alphys seemed scared before. But I’m not scared  _ now _ . I’m just worried. REALLY worried! But I think he needs some time to himself.”

Papyrus didn’t put them down until they agreed to leave him alone for a bit.

Once he was in bed, Frisk climbed up the side of the house.

Chara was right, they did have a problem with focusing too much on other people.

Their hand slipped more than once and once they made it to the window they realized it was shut. They strain and pull themself up. The pull their arm back and bring it forward, knocking rather meekly at the window.

Sans appears with more speed than the human would have credited him with and his eyes widen upon seeing them. He unlatches and opens the window immediately, pulling them in.

“.....”

Sans stares at Frisk.

They feel like they made a mistake, but Sans just sighs and closes the window. He gives them another look before climbing into bed.

“....didn’t my bro say to leave well enough alone.”

Frisk hesitates for a moment before climbing in with him.

“ _ Sorry.” _

“don’t look it.”

There’s a long silence and Sans doesn’t look like he’s sleeping. Or doing anything at all really.

“...what do you want, frisk? as you can see, i’m kinda not in the mood for talking right now.” From anyone else, the question would sound rude or mean or dismissive, but to Frisk’s ears it sounded honest and bland.

Not to say they weren’t slightly hurt.

“ _ Nothing _ .”

“then why’d you climb up the side of the house?”

All Frisk could think of at the sight of Sans’ door is how lonely they feel without Chara. Nevermind recently, they weren’t sure exactly  _ what  _ was up with Sans in general but they figured maybe he felt lonely just by living.

They weren’t sure how to help but they could offer company.

They told him so.

He didn’t answer, but he did roll so he wasn’t completely facing the wall, and he left space on the bed for Frisk.

When they hear Sans’ soft snores, they get comfortable and close their eyes until they fall asleep.

They are both awoken by loud banging on the door, “SANS I AM TRULY SORRY TO WAKE YOU UP AND INTRUDE ON YOUR UNHEALTHY SELF ISOLATION BUT I THINK FRISK MAY POSSIBLY BE MISSING. AGAIN.”

Sans waves an arm at the door, changing the gravity around the lock. It springs open and Frisk giggles. Sans gives a small huff that sounds like the imitation of a laugh.

Frisk has never seen Papyrus look so very perturbed.

And annoyed. He hates being confused.

“HOW.”

Frisk hums nervously. Papyrus was going to  _ hate  _ this one.

“kid climbed in through the window. the one i locked.”

“FRISK! That's very dangerous! You pick the WORST moments to act your age! Didn't I tell you to leave Sans alone?!”

“ _ But. I couldn't leave him alone?” _

Their excuse felt weak to their ears but they heard Sans curl up a little more behind them

_ “Being alone is...scary.” _

Papyrus stares at Frisk taking in their small stature and then seeing his brother curled up like he sometimes gets but not with his usual air of complete uncaring.

He screams a little before, “Fine!!! Fine! You're right, you win!”

Frisk's smile is blinding.

“ _ No one would guess you're the youngest person here. You're usually right out of the three of us!” _

Papyrus straightens a little at the compliment, smiling and laughing happily before leaving the room to get ready for work.

Even though technically his job is currently to “watch the human”, according to Undyne, he'd still rather be dressed for it.

He was also excited to go check up on Chara.

He hoped they were awake today. He'd only had their company in his soul for a day or so but he found he missed them a lot.

It was a long, emotionally painful struggle for Papyrus, but eventually he made it to the Lab with Sans and Frisk in tow.

Sans came along without too much hassle, surprisingly, but the combination of getting Frisk and Sans up and moving was almost enough to make him give up and go back to bed for at least an hour.

Endogeny awaited them at the door to the lab. The dog amalgamate looked excited to see them and jumped at Papyrus the moment he stepped into view.

“NO! OFF YOU SILLY DOG…..DOGS? OFF!” Papyrus had taken the news of the amalgamates unsurprisingly well when Undyne told him. 

Endogeny hopped off and climbed the wall in their excitement at having company. Once they got it out of their systems they felt more whole and like one dog. She was able to think straight and huffed lightly at Papyrus, leading the group towards Chara’s room.

There is a scream and a wave of blue tinted seeds burst out of the door. They slowly disintegrate.

The group runs in.

“Haha! Cool!”

Flowey is backed into a corner with Chara standing at the other side holding an arm up in a manner reminiscent of both Sans and Papyrus. Their soul retreats back into their body.

“Argh, enough Chara! Oh. Howdy, Frisk.”

Frisk waves, hopping over to pick Flowey up. They stare at Chara with curiousity and barely concealed happiness.

“what were you two doing?” It's the most interest Sans has shown all day.

“Alphy told me to practice! I can do some magic apparently! Isn't that cool!”

“huh”

“Wowie! What can you do?”

Chara bounces on their feet a little, “Greetings, Papyrus! Just small things. Blue magic like you and Sans! But I can only move stuff around, nothing amazing.”

“nah kid, it's plenty amazing a human’s doing magic in the first place.”

Charagrins wide and they just look so  _ happy _ that Frisk can't help it and walks over to them with Flowey on their arm.

“No...not again..”

They throw their arms around their ex-soulmate, giggling. They whisper, “I missed you,” and Chara is extremely quiet in contrast to their prior mania when they hug them back. They always were better with actions than words.

Papyrus bounds over and hugs both of them practically picking them both up and dragging a halfway unwilling Sans into the hug.

Eventually they settle down and Alphys joins them. She reports Undyne missing due to ‘secret super important Royal Duties’.

Frisk catches their attention.

“ _ So...um. I guess next is the barrier?” _

Chara doesn't forget that they are legitimately in the middle of a complete breakdown. They know they're just pretending or trying really hard to be okay or something.

But Sans chimes in before they can comment on it, “probably would be good to get some fresh air”

Alphys and Frisk laugh.

“No inappropriate jokes about our eternal entrapment please, brother!!”

“am i wrong?”

“Yes! I mean NO! Ugh yes. Let's go to the surface, I want to deal with all these things like my imminent death and the inevitability of history under the sun!”

There's a brief silence. Alphys squints her eyes at Papyrus as though she's not sure what to make of the comment. Frisk and Sans stare at each other as if unsure how they messed Papyrus up.

Chara merely agrees with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaaaaat did Alphys see?


	8. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my name is Toriel, and I am the caretaker of these Ruins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First part of a double update. This is technically a recap, technically not one at all. This monster's reaction is important.

Three sets of footsteps echoed as they landed on the stones of the ruins.

Sans was more than a little disgusted that he was slightly winded from such a mediocre use of magic like a shortcut.

“Woah, cool.”

He figured it was completely different going through a shortcut while alive rather than as a ghost.

Chara went ahead a little bit, flipping the switches for the ancient traps.

Looking at the two humans Sans was a little unsure as to how they got along. Frisk was a real quiet kid and kept mostly to themself. At least socially and emotionally. He knew himself and Papyrus had the earned the honor of their emotional trust. Obviously.

Chara on the other hand. Well. They obviously had more than a few problems but they talked. A lot more than Frisk did in general. Not that that was difficult to do but the contrast was a little startling to see.

Sans was also quick to see that Chara was a manipulative little thing. Not in any malicious way, but very quick to turn the conversation away from themself or onto some other issue or less serious topic. He was a little impressed at the way they'd handled Frisk.

It seemed to be some sort of balance they had going, where one would try to take care of the other because they thought they were more important and when they broke the balance would switch again.

Frisk trailed along slowly behind Chara, watching them with a small smile. Sans trailed along even more slowly behind Frisk.

They are on their way to see Toriel and let her know that they are going to open the barrier. 

A conversation Sans doesn't expect to go smoothly at all. Chara is alive and there for one which means the resets will have to be explained. 

And the void. 

And the fact that Sans had murdered the both of them multiple times in what was basically cold blood. 

At least to him.

He felt a shiver crawl down his spine.

What would Toriel even  _ say  _ to that. What would  _ he  _ say? 

Hey Tori, I may have killed your kid more than a couple dozen times because I got really angry. Also they killed everyone in the underground because they were being possessed by a weird eldritch monster. So we're gonna break the barrier now, wanna come topside?

The lights dimmed in Sans’ eyes in irritation at himself. If he cared just a little less he would've let Chara tell the whole story, but he couldn't do that to the kid. And this Tori...didn't know Frisk. At all. Which meant definitely not well enough to trust such a fantastical story. In any case Sans never had a chance to make any promises to Tori this timeline but still. He knows he's lost her trust.

Chara and Frisk turned back to look at Sans as one.

_ Creepy. _

“sup kids?”

Chara walks swiftly back towards him and he almost backs up instinctively. Frisk approaches from his other side and he isn't sure he's ready to be attacked by two humans.

“No moping, asshole.”

“language.”

“Language!”

“Frisk what is wrong with you, how old do you think we are!”

They shrug, not giving a clear answer, “kid bodies and brains.”

Chara narrows their eyes at them then swings around, casually grabbing one of Sans’ hands, “And you! Don't think I didn't hear you curse  _ all the time  _ when you thought Frisk couldn't hear or wasn't listening.”

Sans shrugs and Frisk takes the opportunity to grab his left hand, “It'll be okay,” He feels their hand shake a little in his and realizes that Frisk has probably had to watch Tori die by their own hand. He doesn't feel any better at the thought, just like he fucked up more than he thought he had and squeezes their hand in an empty show of comfort.

They look like they appreciate it so at least the action wasn't wasted.

They reach the Ruins faster than any of them would like.

Frisk’s nervousness had advanced to full blown anxiety and they were having a hard time focusing.

Chara had given up on being nervous since the lab and let their mania take over, hoping to blast through this and deal with it later.

Sans couldn't stop seeing their dead body in his mind and felt his horror and guilt crushing him.

None of them wanted to take the final step of knocking on Toriel’s door.

“heh. i think we need an adult.”

“Aren't you the adult?!”

“aren't you technically the same age as me?”

“No?! I dunno!”

A soft gasp from behind them cut off the stress relieving conversation.

“Oh my! Visitors? How ever did you get throu-”

Toriel dropped the bag she was holding on the ground as she came closer and saw Chara.

“I-I-I’m so sory, it's just you look like a child I once...knew...even more so than this young one...I..”

“I-It’s me, mom. Um. Chara. Greetings?”

The nervousness crept into their voice at the worst moment and they couldn't meet Toriel’s eyes.

Toriel let out a hushed exclamation as she gently reached a fuzzy paw out to touch their face, “T-this is a very...very cruel joke if…”

Tears dripped onto her paws and Chara gripped her wrists, “Please..it’s me, mommy, please...I'm real sorry about the buttercups! And Azzy...a-and azzy he…”

Chara broke into loud hiccupy sobs and Sans wondered how long they'd been holding that in. Probably since Frisk reset.

Toriel looked frozen until Frisk moved to hug them. She grabbed both of them in a warm furry embrace and didn't seem to mind this child that she barely knew being part of the soppy mess.

Sans felt a catch in his throat but he refused to cry.

Eventually the two of them calmed down and released each other.

“Oh Chara. Dear, how is this possible?”

“well uh, that's what i’m here to explain.”

“Your voice sounds familiar...would you happen to be my friend from the door?”

Sans nods, twisting his hands around in his pockets, “knock knock.”

Toriel smiles in preemptive delight.

Chara groans but is still smiling tearily.

“It is you! Who’s there?”

“sans”

“Sans who?”

“sans a skeleton but he’s here now. heya, lady, i’m sans. sans the skeleton. and i think you've met before but this kid is frisk.”

Toriel smiles widely and giggles, “Greetings Sans, Frisk. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. Please, do come inside.”

They all make their way into the familiar house taking seats in various places.

“So. What has been happening Sans? I am beyond happy to have one of my children back but it is a bit...overwhelming.”

“so let's say theoretically one human suddenly found themselves with another human’s left over bit of a Soul and was able to house it within their own.”

“Impossible but...go on.”

“theoretically...for now. there's this thing called determination. DT. humans have a scary amount of the stuff. now say this kid had two human’s worth. it would possibly give them the power to rewrite time. to play out certain scenarios,” Frisk was clinging to the side of Sans’ jacket as if begging him not to go into details. Toriel looked skeptical but listened, “to try different things to get different endings.”

“but something like that has to come with a price.”

“Sans I do not like talking around topics.”

“uh sorry. i’m a little nervous”

“There is no need. Tell me the whole story. I will listen.”

“...okay. so the kid is frisk. they can reset back to the moment they fell into the underground whenever they feel like it. and when they have just the right amount of determination they can make a point to go back to in a timeline. a save point. a safety net in case anything happens. and the other leftover bit of soul...that's your kid. chara.”

It came out in a rush but he knew Toriel would have plenty of questions. The whole thing was just way too complicated.

“Oh...but...why would this young one need to go back? And that doesn't explain how Chara...how they are here again..”

Sans felt less nervous explaining the more scientific bits.

“It's not from one time to another when they reset, there’s a small space inbetween that they have to go through. a little bit of space and time that doesn't really exist but is necessary for all the things that  _ can't  _ exist in any timeline. we're calling it the void for now. it's the reason chara was able to get their body back.”

“It basically made my body work because it likes me...now. Wow this void stuff sure sounds made up when you explain it like that.”

“What a nice thing it must be, to give you a second life!”

An awkward silence filled the room, “What is it?”

Frisk mumbled, “not nice...not...mean anymore but not nice”

“it uh. made the kids do some pretty bad things before it decided to help them”

Frisk clammed up and Chara filled in the space, “The void only knew how to...hate things. It was all the bad energy in the world. From the war. And it just wanted...bad things to happen to everyone.”

“so it...made them reset after this kid managed to get out of the underground and free us all.”

Toriel looked like she wasn't quite understanding everything they were saying but she continued to listen patiently.

“the void is connected to chara. so when they reset they made them fight instead of hand out mercy. and in turn chara made frisk fight.”

Frisk was practically hiding in Sans hoodie so he wrapped an arm around them, hoping maybe he could get out of telling Toriel what he'd done.

She was still listening.

Chara spoke up and Sans thought they were the strongest out of all of them, speaking with a chipper tone in their voice even though he knew internally they were screaming and hating themself over it, “So me and Frisk, we fought everything we could find in the ruins. T-there was dust everywhere, mom.”

She couldn't conceal her look of horror at her child's words.

“We killed everything in the entire Underground. You. Papyrus. Undyne. Mettaton. Dad. S-sans. I wasn't sure who was in control to be honest. All there was was static.”

Chara was making their creepy face. Sans looked away, he really needed to talk to that kid.

“I don't...understand. If what you say happened, then how are we all here now?”

“The void! They made us reset and reset and reset and wanted us all to suffer in different ways. Over and over again,” Chara laughed a little, “In the beginning I thought I was the only one who remembered all of it but I was wrong. They did.”

“Frisk did?”

“me too. unfortunately.”

Toriel looked reluctantly entranced by the story they were weaving for her.

“How is it that we aren't all,” she takes a small bur significant breath before continuing, “dead? Or in some horrible reality? ”

Frisk resorts to signing as Chara looks down. They never did like talking about their long fight with Sans.

“Sans stopped us.”

Her face is blank as she looks at the grip Frisk has on the skeleton, and his nervous expression, his smile, his posture. She feels her heart drop in her stomach. Like she knows it's something terrible but she isn't sure.

“How?”

All three of them are silent so she asks again, her voice a bit quieter, “How?”

Sans is shaking, “i um...i…” Frisk rubbed a hand up and down his back. He’s done something unforgivable and he deserves to be judged. His breathing calms almost to the point of stopping and the lights in his eyes brighten. His smile is blank and unreadable. He takes another breath just so he can speak, "I killed them. More than once. There was nothing righteous about it, I just wanted someone to suffer as much as I did! Heh...it gets easier after a while y’know and humans they just. well.”

Toriel had shot up in horror and rage throughout Sans’ misleading admission.

“they can't die so it didn't matter if i killed them, y’know?”

Flames burst forth from Toriel’s paws and at Sans. She didn't take kindly to dirty child killers. That aside, she looked like she didn't even mean to and before she could stop her own attack Sans had already ran faster than anyone had ever seen him into the kitchen with Frisk in tow. When Chara and Toriel came in behind them, there was no one to be found.

Chara looked down at the floor and gripped the side of Toriel’s robe, “Sans is a liar.”

“I know...I knew I just...my body moved on it's own. Please, could you tell me the rest, and then we'll go find our skeleton?”

Chara pauses and looks down, “Can I have some chocolate?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye sansy, nice knowing ya. see you on the other side.


	9. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is getting there. Kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth and Liar were supposed to be a single chapter, but it felt better split into two.

Toriel smiles a little tearily before going to dig out Chara’s favorite. Some things never change.

“Sans saved us. From some really terrible stuff. So the void never took as that far again. It realized the more that it tried to make us kill Sans, the less it could make us obey it. We were too determined not to let the last monster in the underground die, we’d always reset. He’d kill us and we’d reset and reset and reset until eventually...we killed him. And then we were so sad and alone and we didn’t want to be anymore so we reset. So the void changed, it only, “ And Toriel felt a distant sympathetic pain that there was anything that could be considered a trivial deed in this tale, “made us do some bad deeds. Nothing like genocide, right? But in a way it was even worse. Because everyone was alive and miserable.”

“You all have suffered so...so much.”

“Then it made us kill Papyrus. And we fought back. There’s a bit more weird mumbo jumbo to it than that but we won and the void likes me now, so it fixed my body and my soul so Alphys could recconect them and bam, here I am!”

The explanation was childish in the end but Toriel got the point. No more questions, Chara didn’t want to talk about it in depth any more and they were worried about Sans and Frisk. The two of them had been terrified the whole time.

  
  
  
  
  


Sans blinks between one step and the next and it’s dark, darker, and suddenly he is in the woods of Snowdin. His feet take him behind a line of trees.

“-s!”

Something is pulling on his sweater and the obtrusion makes him move faster and he is in the rocks just outside waterfall.

“ans!!”

His name is being called, but he doesn’t want that, he wants to be alone, he wants to be forgotten.

He blinks and he collapses in a bed of golden flowers in the garbage dump.

His breaths are heaving and raspy and he is shaking. His vision focuses a little.

_ great _ .

“Sans!”

Frisk’s shout is more of a loud tone but it gets his attention as he looks around and realizes he’d just dragged Frisk with him through shortcuts halfway through the underground. Frisk could’ve been lost in one of those. He almost killed them. He was a killer. He deserved to die he deserved Toriel’s judgement she judged him guilty he should just  _ leave get out go _

_ “Sans.” _

He was hyperventilating and Frisk was close and they were alive.

“‘m sorry. sorry. shit.”

And now he was cursing in front of children, it’s like he has to just be terrible at absolutely everything.

He looks down and he feels the colors at his feet twist and intertwine. They would be pretty if not for how sick to his stomach they were making him feel.

He looked up at the sound of something bonking him at the top of his skull.

It was Frisk.

“you’re alive”

They were speaking which Sans found odd. They usually barely spoke.

Oh. Maybe he should listen. But he couldn’t.

He also found that strange.

Oh well.

They clamped their mouth shut and looked frustrated about something.

He figured it was annoying talking to someone who wasn’t listening. He’d messed up again.

“sorry…..sorry.”

He shifted and heard the crunch of stems and rocks under his feet. He hated the sound.

Frisk was making a kind of shushing sound as they carefully placed a hand on his and tapped in a steady rhythm. Every time the wave of panic came back the steady tap tap tap on the joints of his wrist would keep him grounded.

He tried to say something to Frisk but he realized he’d been speaking the whole time. Saying sorry. He couldn’t be sorry enough.

Frisk tried speaking again, this time in their low mumble and Sans had no trouble hearing them. Their voice was yet another thing to protect him from himself.

“Sans, sans...it’s ok. You’ll be okay.”

Sans blinked a little, shutting himself up. He couldn’t really look at any of the stuff around him, it was too much.

“okay.”

Tap tap tap.

They were still doing the thing with his wrist. He thought it was kind of nice. He felt like falling asleep.

“No naps here.”

“garbage dump...perfectly acceptable.”

“No.”

“it’s where the trash goes”

“Sans no. Not trash.”

“you smiled,” Sans’ voice had slowly dwindled to a mumble throughout the exchange. He really did want to just go to sleep and maybe when he woke up things would be better and he could pretend he was a normal skelly with a great brother and nothing bad had ever happened. He was just lazy and needed motivation.

“...just a quick nap?”

“No.”

He felt a shiver pass through him and so did Frisk. He realized that they really were close to him, their foreheads still touching and his hand in theirs. He felt vulnerable and didn’t know what to do about it.

“...okay.”

Frisk climbs into his lap and Sans is a little amused because they are almost the same size even though they are a kid and he is not.

“Okay.”

“okay?”

“Hugs.”

“um?”

Sans was always willing to give the kid a hug, they were almost embarrassingly cuddly but they were never this forward about it. He wrapped his arms around them anyway and felt another shiver pass over him.

They placed their chin on his shoulder and their hand on his back. He didn’t cry because he really couldn’t at that point but he felt like he was. His breath caught in his throat and he pressed Frisk’s shoulder practically into his eyesockets.

Eventually he pushes at Frisk to get up. They help him up and see that he’s done with his emotions for a good while.

He feels oddly relieved and oddly sad and too much at once, so he tries to go numb to save himself the additional pain. The outburst helped in a way, he didn’t feel quite so torn apart inside. But still.

“ _ Liar.”  _ Frisk was back to signing.

“who?”

“ _ You.” _

“dunno what you’re talkin’ about kiddo.”

“ _ Chara is gonna tell her, you know. Then you can’t do this...guilt thing.” _

Sans looks away, “i know…”

“ _ Why’d you do that?” _

“it’s the truth...at least to me.”

“ _ Well...not to us, Sans. You saved us y’know?” _

Sans gives a short disbelieving laugh. He can’t shove his emotions away for more than a second a second.

“ _ It’s true. If you hadn’t fought like you did...it made us want to try again. You were…” _

“...can we agree to disagree? cause i really don’t see murdering my friends as a good solution to anything.”

“ _ Okay.” _

Sans was surprised at the speed that Frisk agreed with him.

“ _ For now. You’ve had enough friskiness for the day.” _

Sans snorted in surprise as they started to walk towards Snowdin.

“really, now? now you’re going for a pun?”

“ _ It wasn’t even a good one.” _

“eh. gotta dig through the trash to find the treasure, right?”

The banter was making him feel better.

When Frisk wasn’t paying attention he led them carefully through a shortcut.

They whipped around as soon as they exited and one foot landed in the snow, “ _ Stop using your magic! You’re gonna wear yourself out…” _

“i’m okay. snow problem.”

“ _ Sans!” _

Sans shrugged as if to say “what can you do about it?”

Truth be told he was a bit dizzy, but nothing as terrible as the morning, or the days before. He knew he was getting better so it was fine.

Eventually their home came into view and he saw Toriel and Chara waiting on the porch.

Chara stood up as soon as they saw the pair.

“About time!”

Sans was a little scared to face the boss monster again but she didn’t look mad so he carefully approached, trying not to make it too obvious that he was hiding behind Frisk.

“Oh, Sans, I’m so sorry,” were the first words out of her mouth. He was so confused he couldn’t even ask for what.

“I promise I never would’ve hurt you, and I truly think you did the right thing considering the conditions.”

More reassurances left her mouth but Sans wasn’t really listening. He was very confused. Toriel had forgiven him? She was thanking him? For….killing her kids?

“You stopped them from hurting others and themselves in the worst way, and you saved them from a terrible fate. You have done so much, Sans.”

Sans is silent and nods blankly at the group as a whole before leading them inside to sit. They had to wait for Undyne so he figured the squishy humans would prefer to be inside.

Toriel looked perturbed at his silence, and Frisk was quiet at his side.

“Well?”

And Chara was impatient and tired of talking for the day.

“this timeline is fucking weird. you’re all ridiculous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toriel is gonna wreck Sans for cursing like that in front of her kids.


	10. Truly, a liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter, have fun! Sorry for the delay on posting!

Chapter 10:

 

Undyne’s text arrived almost an hour later, making Sans jump and stare blankly at his phone for a moment before pulling it out of his pocket.

Herself, Alphys, and Papyrus had successfully told Asgore about Frisk and Chara.

In a way Chara was a little angry. Everyone knew about the resets and everyone knew about the huge mess they had made. They’d probably completely fallen in their eyes.

Frisk was no longer scared to be near Toriel. Sans’... _ outburst _ gave Frisk the opportunity to focus on something other than themself. However, Chara knew extremely well that sitting still and doing nothing would let their anxiety come back quickly. And violently.

They would prefer to lay where they were on Sans’ living room floor next to the Abandoned Sock for another twelve hours but instead they got up and followed after the two monsters and Frisk.

The journey up and out of the underground was a blur to Chara. And not because they weren’t up to it, or because they were paying more attention to Sans and their mom and Frisk than their surroundings, but because it was an actual blur. And because they just  _ knew  _ they’d forgotten something back at the house.

_ How many shortcuts had they gone through now? _

_ Shouldn’t Sans be...tired? He could barely go through to the ruins without looking sleepy earlier. _

Frisk glanced towards them with a worried look on their face. Chara was not happy to have their suspicions confirmed. They figured they hadn’t helped  _ him  _ properly so they had to help Sans.

Chara sped walk as Frisk slowed down and smoothly switched spots with them. Frisk shyly grabbed Toriel’s paw as Chara ran ahead and walked next to Sans. He glanced over at them but didn’t speak and was soon back to sedately walking forward.

“Hey Sans.”

“heya.”

“So I notice we’re already at the core.”

“huh. look at that. coulda sworn we were just in waterfall.”

“We were.”

Sans looked at them.

“We were  _ just  _ there. You’ve been at the front of the group.”

“...........oh.  _ oh _ .”

“Yeah. Chill?”

“uh. yeah.”

Sans looked extremely uncomfortable at the fact that he’d been using that much magic and hadn’t noticed.

“Listen uh...I dunno exactly how much magic you have in that short, bony body of yours...and I won’t ask! Don’t look at me like that! But it’s probably...not great that you’re using this much at once?

Sans hadn’t stopped looking at Chara rather shrewdly and took care to widen the distance between them.

“Hey!”

“i get it. you’re worried. don’t worry, i’ve got it under control.”

“If you say so.”

“but man...you’re quite the character--” “Ugh!” “asking after an innocent young monster’s levels.”

Chara knew the conversation was over when they heard Toriel giggle from right behind them. They turned around to shoot her a betrayed look only to see the most unreadable smile on Frisk’s face.

“...Oh look! We’re almost here! Time to have a stressful conversation instead of  _ this _ !”

Sans patted Chara on the shoulder as they entered the elevator.

The group was quiet as it ascended.

And they entered another elevator. And another.

It was quite a series of slow elevators.

Even Toriel looked a little irritated by the time they stepped into the hall just outside the steps to the throne room.

“I don’t understand? Why must it be so...convoluted to get to the top?”

“hey i think it’s a-maze-ing what architects can come up with nowadays.”

Chara wanted this short lived journey to be over.

Four steps of footsteps echoed through the hallway. Sunlight shone through a crack in the mountain, stretched it’s way through the glass and into the hallway, making it look warm and welcoming and golden.

Chara felt their stomach roll in unease.

That feeling of leaving home and forgetting something inside, but not knowing what? It had been multiplied by dozens and they felt sick to their stomach.

And then it was gone.

They quietly wiped some sweat from their forehead, hoping no one had noticed.

And no one had. They had all continued walking like normal.

They had to do this. They knew the plan. Cry and hug Asgore. Get the other human souls. Let Asriel break the barrier.

So why had they felt wrong ever since they’d been brought back to life?

They lifted a hand to casually lighten the effects of gravity on a boulder.

It lifted a few centimeters of the floor. Magic’s still there then.

Then it shot up into the ceiling.

What was wrong?

They continued walking and soon heard the voices of Asgore and Undyne.

“where’s the flower hiding?”

Frisk silently pointed to the far corner of the hallway near the staircase.

“...Geez, Frisk. That’s creepy.”

“...”

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s creepy.”

“why aren’t ya with the others?”

“Don’t wanna. Could you maybe not get my leaves wet?”

Toriel had scooped Flowey up and was tearing up a little at the sight of him. She wasn’t sure whether to react with anger or sadness or just break down so she opted not to speak.

“What happened?” Chara had said the question rather sharply but Flowey seemed far too subdued and emotional for a supposed soulless husk of a flower.

He quietly wrapped a leaf around Toriel’s paw and nuzzled into her arm. Sans looked a little surprised at the action.

“Do you ever feel like something’s….off?”

Chara didn’t answer but they felt unease make a reappearance in their gut.

“Like you’re supposed to be doing something but you can’t. Or like you’re supposed to…...feel something...but you can’t. Like you can’t do anything?”

“Oh, my child.”

“...Toriel...I...Didn’t Chara tell you? I’m not your child. Not like this and not after all these years.”

“You’ll always be my little Azzy.”

The expression on her face was the portrait of pain.

Flowey scowled, “Ha. Haha. I even felt just the tiniest bit upset just now. Golly, this really must be a special timeline you’ve made Frisk.”

Frisk kicked a pillar so everyone would look at them.

“I’ve...felt that way. Like something’s off.” Their signing was sluggish, like it was a struggle for their brain to keep up with them.

“But then it’s just gone?” Flowey continued, “Just like that it’s gone and you can’t even remember what the feeling was and what you were trying to remember you forgot? Or what you were trying to forget?”

“I don’t quite understand, Asr--I apologize, Flowey.” Flowey even looked a bit pleased at his current name being used.

“I’m saying we’re forgetting something  _ important!! _ ” and there was his anger, “There’s something important we need to tie this timeline in a neat happy stupid little bow and I can’t remember what it is! I don’t even know if I ever knew what it was!”

To Chara’s ears the world grew silent in the moment of their epiphany.

In a far off sort of way they processed that Undyne was suddenly bounding down the stairs shouting about the human souls being missing and Alphys was asking Flowey if he took them somehow because he was the only thing that could even dream of holding that much power in the Underground.

Suddenly Frisks hand slips into theirs and they whisper.

“We forgot about him.”

They were still staring blankly at Flowey.

Chara mumbles, “It’s like that timeline never existed...like it didn’t mean a thing.”

Chara leans their head on Frisk’s shoulder, very close to attempting to decimate a window with their fist, “Okay Frisk. Deep breaths. Both of us. In.” They both breath in. “Out.” Frisk releases the breath all at once and Chara lets it out gently. They silently look at the chaos of their friends about to go search for the missing souls. Their only key to freedom.

Chara lightly tugs at them with their blue magic.

“Papyrus! What’d ya do that for!”

“THAT WASN’T ME! SANS!”

Sans points at Chara. Chara looks terrified and he slowly walks to stand next to them, concerned.

“Does anyone remember...Gaster?”

Sans’ eye sockets narrowed in focus, “Cause...we saved him..I think? But we reset? And we haven't seen him anywhere.”

“i tried calling him but nothing went through...i...didn't think much of it since he'd always do that before. disappear for days. figured coming back to life meant he had a lot to catch up on before he even spoke to another person...but…”

“You remember him?” Chara gripped Frisk's hand tightly, “Does anyone else? He was kind, and kind of awkward...and really obsessed with stuff and...a little creepy, but..”

Asgore had stepped forward looking as if he wanted to say something to his long lost child, sparing a glance for Toriel and the flower. He visibly shoves his emotions down.

“I had wondered why everyone had suddenly forgotten our Royal Scientist. And worried. Do you know where he is, Chara? Perhaps he is the key to our missing souls.” His voice had wavered towards the end but he stood strong and the others had quieted, with only the occassional nervous tapping from Alphys.

“If anyone could have done it...h-he would've been able to use the souls...somehow,” Sans jerked a little. Alphys remembered. There were others that remembered him and no one had mentioned him.

He didn't know what he was feeling but it was...something.

“Chara? Frisk?” Toriel had finally stood, her entire body blocking the doorway and sunlight shining down upon her face. She cast a more impressive sight than even Asgore, and there was a look in her eyes that matched the look the humans would sometimes get when they needed to do something.

The two humans looked towards her, and Frisk spoke aloud. “He's somewhere outside of reality again and we need to find him. He's the last one missing and I have to  _ save him. _ ”

Something like static ripped through the hallway at Frisk’s words.

Chara would never be sure what it was, their combined determination, their extra magic, the holes the void had created in the universe, or even all the shortcuts that they had gone through but suddenly they could  _ see. _

There was a gasp from Papyrus.

And apparently so could everyone else.

“Young one? What...magic is this?”

Frisk’s hand was holding their soul aloft and it looked like they didn't even know what they were doing. They shrugged and scowled at their red soul.

“uh kid. im pretty sure that's...grey magic.”

Frisk gave him a small glance.

“Brother...you just made that up, didn't you.”

“kind of? it doesn't really have a name since no one can really use it under normal circumstances, but it sounds better than interdimensional energy and time manipulative powers,” Papyrus gives a loud ‘oh no not the lecturing’ “it’s what i used back then to get that little hole into the void back when chara got pulled in. but to do that you need a large burst of magical power per second...and to make it visible...determination. for actual...interaction…”

“A l-linking point! Like with their body!” Alphys shouted, “But we didn't set one up so that means!”

“yes exactly!”

“AHHH! TOO MUCH SCIENCE!”

“YEAH! Translate!”

Sans looked almost visibly excited, “it means gaster is closer than we think, and he's helping us!”

There was a tug at his hand and Frisk was dragging Sans and Chara up towards the barrier.

“well,” Sans chattered, “either that or the bits of the void are inside of you too...which actually makes more sense?”

The magic in the air was making their hair stand on end and it only got stronger the closer they were to the barrier.

“That’s...uh not very good, kid.”

Flowey crawled his way onto Frisk's shoulder.

Frisk spoke aloud, their hands full.

“Doesn't matter. He's up there. He's waiting.”

Flowey gave them a slightly condescending leafy pat on the face, “Don't overdo it you little weirdo.”

They felt some of the strain from all the magic gathering around them drain away as Flowey took it into himself. He shuddered a little.

“What? It's what this body is made for.”

Soon they came up to the barrier. The group was quiet as there was nothing they could do but watch and provide support.

“Sans...shortcut  _ inside _ the barrier. Chara. Determination. At the same time. Flowey….get ready.”

Flowey looked like he understood.

“uh that sounds pretty risky. what're you gonna do frisk?”

Their hair covered their eyes and their mouth was set in a line that was almost a smile but not quite. Chara shivered.

They nuzzled a cheek against Flowey and he allowed it, his own expression unreadable. Chara found the image horror inspiring. The expression on their face was disturbingly similar to the last time they were on the surface.

Flowey smiled.

“Fight.” they whispered before dragging the three forward and allowing no chance for protests. They could feel the burn of the barrier against their noses and it forced Sans to rip one of his tiny holes into space time. Their next unsteady, hurried steps landed in something that was almost pure darkness.

It was strangely silent compared to the chaos that had greeted them last time.

The colors that made up the world bled away and the only splotches of color were the monsters and humans themselves. 

“frisk! you can't just- that was really damn dangerous-”

Frisk tugged at him,  “Look. Over there, look.”

“fr-”

“Gaster?”

There was loud static they hope they'd never hear again before a voice began to reach them.

“Greetings? Can you hear me?”

“Yes!”

The rest of the group jumped as Frisk yelled. 

There was a brief pause, “why’re you still in here, doc?”

Chara edged forward. He was only a few feet away. They glanced backwards and there was the barrier. Their friends were just outside looking rather panicked.

It seems they really were inside the barrier.

“All the things you want are in  _ here  _ of course. The void sees you want them and it keeps it for you. I do believe it loves you quite a bit.”

Gaster hadn't specified who.

Chara tried to wiggled their hand out of Frisks. They allowed it. They wrung their hands in their sweater. They couldn't hear voices or anything really, just static and something repeating over and over, so why wouldn't the void let go? Why wouldn't it just  _ let them win? _

They muttered a curse.

“Chara?”

“Doctor Gaster,” the title rolled from Chara’s lips effortlessly, “I don't understand.”

“Do you remember our last fight? You spent some time in complete control of this place. An amazing achievement really, there's just so many components to this place I wish I had the tools to-”

“doc”

“Right. Well yes. Turns out, it never left your souls,” His conjured hands floated to address Frisk, “Either of your souls.”

“Wait, that weird magic is Frisk’s then? I thought only monsters and...containers...like me could use magic.”

“True, Flowey, but humans did create the barrier. Humans can easily wield magic from an outside source, they are just not born with it.”

“How do we leave? With you?”

“normally I'd be all for the science talk doc, but frisk’s one track mind's got the right idea. this place is making me jumpy. would rather avoid getting stuck.”

“Ah. Hm. I admit, I'm...unsure. I am more myself than I have been in years, but as you can see,” He raised two hands out of his drippy body as if to shrug, “There is nothing here.”

Frisk looked heartbroken. And kind of like they would drag Gaster to his happy ending by force.

“But…”

“I have a theory though. You are the voids host, Chara. And you, Frisk, are the voids magic. Perhaps we can create a conduit between the two. Chara from outside this space, and Frisk from within.”

“that easy?”

“Yes. I am...sorry. I know it is selfish of me to ask you to try like this but, I had a taste of a second chance and I think...I do want one.”

“I want you to have one...We're going to save you.”

“course. can't leave you hanging around here.”

Chara nodded. Flowey was silent but stayed on Frisk's shoulder. 

Gaster's body seemed to quiver and a gurgling sound came from the smile etched into his face.

“Thank you.”

He paused.

“Thank you so much. Thankfully...exiting is much easier than entering this space. Haha just a little tug and...there you go. Chara please stand just on the outside. You will use your magic to try to feel for Frisk. And Frisk, with your permission I will take a small bit of you. A stray string from your sweater perhaps?” Frisk nodded and the string was somehow already in Gaster's hands. Neither had moved.

“Okay...I'll go outside then.” Chara knew the barest basics of magic but they were still nervous. Soul searching was not difficult but not the most basic thing. What if they messed up.

“It'll be ok.” Chara’s head jerked towards Flowey, “Okay.” They could always count on their adopted brother.

They stepped outside.

Worried exclamations. Papyrus picking them up. Questions about the others. They drowned it all out.

“Shhh. I need to magic-find all of them and make sure their surprise passenger makes it out.”

“You're soul calling? Do you have a link?” 

Undyne gave Papyrus a confused scowl.

“WHAT! You end up picking up so many unnecessary things living with Sans!”

Undyne continued to scowl and look confused.

“P-papyrus is...right?You can't do it without a link.”

“...Frisk. Frisk's magic. San's magic. Gaster has some of Frisk's. May I  _ continue? _ ”

Chara had gotten fed up with all the hold ups and Alphys raised her two hands up in surrender and Papyrus gently placed them on the floor but kept his hands on their shoulder. They smiled appreciatively at the contact. They wouldn't have been able to deal with their parents right then.

They closed their eyes and reached out with their magic. They weren’t sure what they were doing. Should they move or-

Frisk.

Well. That was easy. They opened their eyes and the feeling of Frisk coming closer increased as they felt themselves growing farther. Something was tugging back at them and it wasn't Frisk.

They looked into the barrier and all they could see was color and around them was a sea of black and white. They swayed where they stood, only kept upright by Papyrus.

Suddenly there was a mass of black in front of them.

“Oh no, no nono no..This is not-”

They felt light tapping on their face, “kid? chara?”

“Sans...what's…”

“good! that's it. there you are. everything's okay alright? the void is trying to take back it's body but we're not going to let it ok? ok? say ok if you get me you little weirdo.”

“Not...a weirdo…”

They tried to step forwards, “no..nope you're not going that away. anyone? magic donation? let's keep this human in this dimension please? no not you gaster but the attempt is appreciated. do not panic doc. thank you toriel,” Something warm flowed into chara and it felt like they were on fire, “don’t cry doc, please”

“Chara.”

A two fuzzy paws covered their hand.

They mumbled something they thought was ‘mom...dad’ in some kind of language.

 

. 

 

.

.

.

  
  


_ “Is it really okay for me to have this, Miss Tor...I mean, Toriel?” _

_ “Why of course, my child! We have plenty and it is for all of us to share!” _

_ The chocolate was already halfway into Chara’s mouth, sweet and everything they’d always expected real chocolate to be, not like the cheap sale supermarket chocolate they were used to, “Yes, mom.” They’d mumbled absently. _

_ There was a gasp from Toriel. Asgore was grinning widely from the table and told Asriel to go fetch the camera. _

_ “Oh my gosh,” Chara whispered, “I’m sorry I didn’t think I um..I..um...Miss Toriel?” _

_ She was sniffling a little bit and placed a paw on Chara head, petting them, they smiled confusedly. _

_ “You may call me ‘mom’ if you wish! I already do think of you as one of my own.” _

_ “I am also not opposed! I mean if you wish to call me dad! Or anything you wish!” _

_ Chara smiled unwillingly and widely at that and didn’t realize they were crying until their tears were wiped away. _

_ “Come, let’s take a picture! Ready?” _

_ They kept smiling. _

  
  


Chara blinked sluggishly. They’d almost forgotten about that time. They could see reds in the real world. Toriel’s eyes. Papyrus’ scarf. Asgore’s trident.

 

They felt a burst of warmth from Alphys and Undyne.

 

They sincerely hoped it wasn’t another flashback and it wasn’t. Perhaps the shock factor had worn off and their soul was more accepting of the new magic. Or maybe it was going straight into their body now.

“Ngaaaah! No dying here Frisk number 2! Or is it number one? Who cares! Stay alive Chara! You can do this!”

They weakly lifted their thumb, and suddenly they knew things they’d never known. They knew Undyne hated sweet foods. They knew she had secretly read all of the fanfic Alphys had written. They knew she’d once chipped off a large patch of scales in a freak accident as a kid. They knew there were only three monsters she was actually scared of, and one only appeared in her nightmares. At least in this timeline.

 

They knew what Alphys did for Gaster.

 

Chara shivered and it had nothing to do with their still weak body. Standing was a little easier. Walking forwards sounded like a good idea.

“Not enough yet.”

Chara properly looked. Sans was right in front of them, holding them in place. Frisk’s hand was gripping the edge of Sans’ hoodie and their other hand was holding on to Gaster. They were still each with a little bit of them in the void.

“can’t leave until we’re sure you’re safe, kid.”

They couldn’t see any of the colors on Sans. They felt frustrated. They should have died. They had died. They were so tired of trying  _ all the time _ . It was supposed to be over. They were tired. They were so tired. They nodded a little, signifying they were ready and they felt two simultaneous bursts of magic.

 

Felt like lazy mornings and fun adventurous days.

 

Felt like home.

 

“CHARA?”

They tilted their head up and looked at Papyrus. Their eyes were assaulted with color. They groaned and closed their eyes for a moment as they felt a headache come on. They felt their soul lighten.

_ Oh. Papyrus was holding on too. _

“Thanks.”

Sans let out a sigh and the trio wiggled their way out of the void.

It looked silly.

Chara laughed.

They heard Gaster sliding against the floor, “Well. That was terrifying.”

Frisk laughed too and wrapped their arms around Chara as Papyrus picked them both up. Sans patted his arm, “nice work, bro.”

Papyrus beamed from the compliment.

“What about the souls?” 

“Curious. I'd sworn I'd felt them in there. It should've been able to come out with me…”

Flowey slowly crawled off of Frisk.

“Don't you idiots pay attention?”

Sans frowned a little bit.

“Old McSpoopy here said...the void loves you a lot. Which means it wouldn't do anything to harm you...not anymore at least.”

“so? keeping us trapped isn't actively harming us but it's still a shit thing to-”

“Do you even  _ want _ to leave, Sans?”

He stuttered to a stop, “...what?”

“You. It's  _ always _ you. Even back when I first reset it's  _ always always  _ come down to you!” Flowey was smiling.

“Even the time we all died? That was all about you.  _ Curiosity _ , it had whispered! Ha! Me and Frisk?” Frisk was smiling then and Sans refused to look at them. Chara was alarmed because that was the look they got every time they got even the tiniest bit violent, “We always knew it would come down to you in the end. It  _ always has. _ ”

Sans laughed nervously, “frisk, buddy you can’t be going along with this…”

“You’re what the anomaly wants! You’re the center of it! You’re who it loves...and who it wants LOVE from.”

The air was charged and even if they didn’t quite understand what had happened throughout the resets, they were all wary to get involved.

Frisk looked contemplative for a moment as Flowey continued with a whisper that made Sans shiver in the wake of the barrier, his eyes truly empty and his expression full of emotion, “You coward.”

He blinked and the world flashed black and white for a moment.

“Frisk, wh--”   
Chara rushed forward but it was too late.

A moment of color and Sans took a step back, but his soul was being gently tugged from his ribcage.

A hue-less world.

He tried to grab it back but it was futile.

Harsh light shone down on Frisk’s face as they lifted their hands and spoke aloud in what was a strong tone for them. It was with the low, soft cadence that Sans himself would use to threaten anyone who even thought about hurting them or Papyrus. 

 

**“In my way.”**

 

Flowey crawled off of Frisk and planted himself in the ground. A vine shot out and Sans felt something in their opposing magics snap.

“No mercy.”

 

Chara’s arms shook as they stood behind Sans.

Frisk met their eyes for a moment.

They calmed themselves.

 

“h-heh. no mercy, huh?”

 

The light of the human Souls shone down upon Frisk and Flowey from behind.

They didn’t understand anything Frisk did. Why they flirted with everyone or why they liked Papyrus’ spaghetti or why they refused to throw out that stupid bandaid.

They had to trust that all this...was for a good reason.

 

“Of course not Sans,” Flowey sang, “You’re the final boss after all, and you know I love to  _ win.  _ There’s no winning in mercy!”

 

“well too bad, i ain’t bitin’. i’m not fighting you two.”

 

Frisk took a deep breath, letting it out gently. They let their lips stretch wide across their face showing off a gruesome smile and stuck their hands in their pockets. Then they pulled something out and walked towards Sans.

 

_ Oh. Is this how we looked… _

 

Sans instinctively teleported backwards leaving Chara in direct line with Frisk.

 

_ When… _

 

They trusted Frisk so they wouldn’t move. Flowey had held them all in place with vines over their feet in any case and was currently sending more after Sans. Toriel was angrily trying to defend both the humans but could quite reach due to how Flowey had restrained them. All hands were tied up to prevent magic. No escape. No calling for help.

  
  


“Chara, what’re you doing? Run!”

Chara blinked, “I didn’t know you could shout, Sans…”

“Fight or you lose, skeleton!”

 

Frisk was close. Chara could see their eyes. They looked upset.

 

“It’s happening again Sans and only you can stop it.”

 

They raised an arm and Flowey put a circle of bullets around the three of them. A lethal combination, even if the knife didn’t kill them first, Flowey would take care of the rest. What a good team, Chara thought.

 

The knife was coming down and Sans was frozen in place.

 

It was inches from their chest.

_ If they really do kill me we can probably just reset anyway...no big deal, bone boy. _

Sans was suddenly between them and tackled Frisk.

They disappeared.

“Golly...he sure is dense.”

“...Dude. What the fuck.”

“Don’t get snippy with me, sib. This was all Frisk’s plan. They said Sans wouldn’t listen unless it was extreme! You, of all people, should get that.”

“So he was the one the void was after?”

“Yeah. And this was going to keep happening over and over if he didn’t get over his stupid fears.  Frisk said he just needed to admit something was important enough to make him leave and. Well. The void spoke to them a lot apparently. About him. Before. Whatever. It’s all creepy crap. Guess we’ll know soon enough.

 

Frisk and Sans tumbled to the ground inside the barrier.

“Shit! crap...i didn’t mean..dammit-- frisk? are you okay?”

Frisk signed and affirmitive from the floor.

“dude. dude. what the fuck was that?”

“Language.”

“Fuck my language! You’re totally old enough! i...i was so. what the hell. don’t ever ever do that again, holy shit i don’t ever want you guys to do violence like that again.”

“You stopped it.”

“...”

“You never answered. Not really. Do you want to leave?”

“Of course I do!”

Sans was glaring fiercely upwards from where he lay.

“Sans”

He looked down, feeling shaky. Angry at Frisk. But not really.

“...It’s scary. I don’t know what i’d do up there.”

“Me too.”

“i dunno what i’d do every single day.”

“We can hang out. You, me, Chara, Flowey, and Papy.”

“i don’t like the idea of time moving forward. not after all this”

Frisk paused. “I hate it.”

“i don’t want to be trapped in here.”

“I know.”

“...i don’t want to do anything out there, frisk”

“Yeah.”

Frisk still looks absolutely stubborn and ready to drag Sans out by the legs.

Sans barks out a laugh. They’ve never heard him laugh like that before.

“where would we even live? permanently? i don’t mean that same town you keep breaking us into.”

“dunno. asgore will figure it out?”

“...okay.”

“I’m scared too.”

“k.”

“Do you wanna leave?”

“...more than anything.”

Frisk takes Sans’ hand.

The souls hang overhead.

Sans looks at them.

 

_ guess this really is the end. _

 

“yeah...ok...you win, frisk. you win.”

 

The barrier was broken.

They stood in the wake of the barrier.

Chara leveled a glare Frisk's way and they winced. Sans immediately let go of Frisk's hand and were at Papyrus’ side faster than they could blink.

“Someone's in the dog house,” Flowey sang.

Frisk looked at their wildly happy friends talking..and yelling at each other. They woofed.

“Worth it, then? I'm not mad. It was the only way to get either of them to  _ want  _ this. Me? I've always wanted to go. Take over the earth y’know?”

Flowey dodges a playful swipe at his stem.

“It's something new, Frisk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long final chapter for this part of the series! Hope you enjoyed. There's more. This is a post-pacifist fic, after all.
> 
> Personally I feel like I could've done this much better. I think I may rewrite it at a future point, more details..make a lot of things clearer but it was an AU I just really felt like writing.
> 
> Next bit: The Surface and The Prince


End file.
